In many ways, they’re both national treasures. On one hand you have Miss USA, famed for her flawless apple pie good looks and impeccable manners, and on the other hand you have crazy-haired bellowing rich bloke Donald Trump.

Neither Miss USA or Donald Trump appear to have particularly hard jobs – from what we’ve seen, Donald Trump has to read pre-scripted voice-overs unconvincingly, yell down mobile phones in a limousine and say “you’re fired” with an increasing look of weariness on his face. On the other hand Miss USA has to turn up to stuff and wave. However, the current Miss USA Tara Conner would rather do other stuff than just wave – like hang out at bars all the time, have it off with any man she can find and snort so much cocaine that Donald Trump looks sure to fire her in the very near future. Oh, and wakeboarding.