Jesus H. Christ – is the Beano still going?
God only knows what today's generation of iPod-twiddlin' youngsters must think about it. Hecklerspray can only assume that the entire readership stems from peculiar Amish-style communities up and down the British Isles, all of which are bereft of the joys of modern technology (Wigan would be a good reference point).
That has to be the case, doesn't it? Surely kids today are more interested in happy slapping or mugging for MySpace photos or sticking inconsequential videos of themselves on YouTube? Let's get one thing right – they aren't a generation of self-obsessed media slags. Oh no – they're the children of a generation of self-obsessed media slags. It's pretty doubtful that the papery antics of Minnie The Minx are going to appeal to them, let alone Doctor Who and Jamie Oliver.
It seems, however, that Beano publishers have realised how outdated their comic is. So – in unison with godforsaken 'zany' event Comic Relief – they've decided to launch BeanoMAX, a new revamped monthly version of the mag. According to the chaps at the BBC:
Doctor Who, TV chef Jamie Oliver and actor Rowan Atkinson are to appear with Dennis The Menace in the Beano. A special edition of the children's comic has been created to raise money for the Comic Relief charity. It sees troublesome pupils The Bash Street Kids forced to study by the Daleks and Jamie Oliver cooking up dinner in the school canteen. Dennis and the rest have promised to be gentle with them," said Beano editor Euan Kerr of the celebrity guests. The special edition is also the first issue of a new monthly publication, BeanoMAX, which will run in tandem with the regular weekly Beano comic. It is aimed at readers aged nine to 13, an older audience than the Beano traditionally enjoys. Other stars lined up for appearances include pop band McFly, broadcaster Jonathan Ross and footballers Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard.
A couple of things immediately caught hecklerspray's inquisitive eye.
Number One – surely exposing even more children to Jamie Oliver is a horrendously bad move. The last thing we need is an entire generation of wannabe-cockneys pissing around on mopeds and getting all pathetically self-righteous whenever you treat yourself to a packet of Chipsticks.
And Number Two – what's with the name? BeanoMAX? Doesn't that sound like some sort of energy drink? Surely we should cherish the Beano as it is – a last bastion of innocent childhood – rather than trying to revamp it into something hip and sexy?
What next? hecklerspray confidently expects that, by the end of the year, we'll be seeing the launch of Dandy Extreme: The Choice For A New Generation and Bunty XXX: You're Never Too Young For A Miniskirt, You Little Whores.
Probably.
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Bette says
But have you seen the pictures of Doctor Who in The Beano? They’re rubbish.
Frances says
I’m mother of a fully-paid up eight-year old member of the Beano Club (silver award) who has a collection of Beanos which is taking over the house and could do Mastermind on historical Beano characters. When he grows up he’s told us he’s going to be a Beano cartoonist, and he practises all the time. His Plug is a thing of pure beauty. (He’s also mad about Doctor Who, Lego, computer games and, as of Friday night, Primeval, which is, I am told ‘awesome’.) He’s not into Ipods yet because a) he’d break or lose it if he got one, b) he’s not got £116 and c) we’re stingy. His sister is also mad about the Beano and they swap issues with friends at school. Maybe there are kids out there who sneer at the Beano, but I don’t know any of them.
Vig says
No, I’m sorry: Euan Kerr? Really? I’m having doubts believing that.