Where does “timey-wimey” and “spacey-wacey” come from? If you guessed something that starts with “drunk,” then I applaud you for your logic. If you guessed Doctor Who, then you’re also correct and have some sort of knowledge of what a Doctor Who is. And for that, I hate you.
I don’t hate Doctor Who. I just hate you. And by you, I mean that terrible few of you.
Maybe it’s the haircut that the current Doctor has. That ridiculous swoosh that makes me wish every nerve center was located in the tip of the follicles, just so punching a haircut would be more effective. Or maybe it’s all the gifs that I see. I haven’t seen a lot of the show, but thanks to images put together in short format, I know for sure that it’s got this weird, quotable anti-humor that geeks can easily latch onto.
I’m not saying that I’m not a geek. And I know that geeks, when they enjoy something, will literally beat it into oblivion. I didn’t used to hate Monty Python and The Holy Grail, but my 11th grade theatre class ruined it for me, with multiple re-enactments of the holy hand grenade scene. If one more loud kid said “We’re the Knights who say Ni!” to me as if I was going to continue with what would eventually lead to all seven levels of embarrassment, I would have renounced comedy as a whole and stuck to eventually looking for plot holes in the The Avengers, which is what a humorless lifestyle inevitably leads to.
I have a powerful feeling that I’ve been exposed to more Doctor Who than most Doctor Who fans. I’ve watched a few episodes, and I just can’t seem to enjoy it. I’m not saying that it’s bad, but its low-budget goofiness mixed with that annoying British “look at how witty this response is in this context but God knows us fans will try to shove it into something else” charm that I mentioned geeks latching onto so much, just turns me off.
I understand that the Dalek is supposed to be a threat, but it looks like it came out of a storage closet containing every rejected invention patent from 1972. And since all the sci-fi sets literally look like the designer was asked to replicate the Enterprise’s basement, it breaks my suspension of disbelief cleanly in two, with both halves being equally baffled by the show’s ridiculousness.
People go nuts about this kind of thing, and there’s no way to describe Doctor Who in a way that doesn’t sound like the way I’d describe it if I was making fun of it. Asking people to defend it’s merits is like asking a friend to explain an in-joke they had with someone who’s recently deceased: a bunch of stammering about how I need to have a certain taste to enjoy it, and shame.
A lot of my friends like it, and I’m not dissing them. I hate you, trust me. I also hate your tumblr, because that’s where most of my rage in the present is imported from. The reblogging of sheer insanity that is tumblr.
Thanks to tumblr, I get unnaturally angry at something stupid at least twice a day. And, when I started writing this article, I was particularly angry at Doctor Who. Doctor Who fans can’t express their joy in portions or in respectable fashions. They feel the need to partake in this popular expression of excitement where they start typing and end up with a bunch of random letters, because, thanks to the internet, random letters is the new black. It’s hilarious!
“Oh my god check out my mini tardis it’s so cool i cant even dhsdjhdiodhaiohd”
It’s either this, or this weird emotional connection that some fans display, where they’re “not okay” with stuff that happens, as seen here:
‘After last night, I’m not okay. I loved Rose, and I cried when she left. I was brokenhearted when Donna left—but the way Amy and Rory left…I’m just not okay.’
I see this reaction a lot in certain shows, where people decide that a couple shouldn’t have formed or a specific, fictional character shouldn’t have died. Why? Does it ruin the story? Does it hurt the show?
Usually not. The fan just isn’t “okay” with it. I’ve had visceral reactions to television before, but I’m usually “okay” with the decisions that the writers and directors make because I don’t live in the same universe as the characters, and never will. Therefore, when something happens that I don’t like, I usually just say “I don’t like that choice.” But I’m completely “okay” with it. Some Doctor Who fans are never “okay” with anything they disagree with. I can’t get into the mindset of a person with that amount of devotion. And, considering how crazy it sounds, neither can they.
‘I think Amy should have smiled when she threw her last look at the Doctor, because the desperate “goodbye” she blurted out upset him more than necessary’
The source of that? Tumblr. A person who lacks the ability to ever become real was upset more than necessary. Is this really the kind of people that exist on the planet? People who are sad when a costume change acts upset? I know that all Doctor Who fans aren’t like this, because BBC would be shut down for putting excessive lead in water mains if they were, but a handful of Doctor Who fans are ruining seeing Doctor Who fans for me.
In short, the annoying fans really just make me want to jlkj;lhj;oihjn;nnikn like i don’t even