The world has been on tenterhooks for months now, anxiously wondering if Eddie Murphy really did get Mel B pregnant, or if Eddie Murphy was right to assume that Mel B had slept around, or if Eddie Murphy would ever make a sequel to Norbit.
And now we know the answer to at least some of these questions. While sadly the Norbit sequel is still as up in the air as it's ever been, results of a DNA test have proved conclusively that Eddie Murphy is the father of Mel B's daughter Angel Iris. In fact, Eddie Murphy is so definitely the father of Angel Iris that Mel B has released a statement claiming that the baby is "110%" his. This must come as something as a disappointment to Mel B, who was probably expecting that the baby was at least partially hers, what with how she let it grow inside her and all.
Finally, the greatest DNA mystery since police found dribble on Phil Spector's penis is over – Eddie Murphy is the father of Mel B's baby. It's the perfect ending to a perfect story – the story of what happens when a former popstar and a man who dresses up as fat women for a living get together, slap tattoos of each other all over their bodies and do it until one of them gets pregnant. It's also the story of how quickly Eddie Murphy freaks out when his girlfriend gets pregnant, since it wasn't long before Eddie was popping up on Dutch TV telling all and sundry that the baby wasn't even his.
But now Eddie Murphy has been proved wrong – the lawsuit that Mel B so furiously chased after she gave birth to her daughter and gave it Eddie Murphy's name finally paid off, and the DNA test that Eddie Murphy reluctantly took has shown that baby Angel Iris Murphy Brown is his. And not just 50% his like you'd expect the father of a baby to be either. People reports:
"He's the baby's father, it's official," says a source close to Brown. "The baby is undoubtedly, 110 percent his." Of Brown, the source said, "There was no doubt in people's minds anyways, least of all hers. It wasn't a surprise to her. She knew all along."
So now that baby Angel Iris knows for sure that her parents are the startlingly aggressive one from The Spice Girls and the man who threw a strop when he didn't win an Oscar, it's time for her to try and figure out her place in this crazy mixed-up world. Already we're sure she has an idea – she's not as rich as the Spice-babies that Victoria Beckham has pushed out and her name isn't as stupid as the Spice-baby that Geri Halliwell had – but if you think that'd mess her up, just wait to see how she reacts when Mummy tells her that Daddy used to be famous for telling AIDS jokes.
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