hecklerspray was horribly stuck once in the middle of a swirling gaggle of wing-flapping Canadian geese. It was terrible – all the squawking, all the honking, all the pinching us with feathers – terrible we tell you!
When they finally flew away we were stranded two states to the south from where we were when it started with only a tattered Italian motorcycle jacket and some wing-shaped facial bruises. Our subliminal self-defence mechanism has helped us block out a lot of what happened – but three weeks later we laid a freaking egg. We're just saying.
Because of this experience we can kind of but not really relate to how DMX must have felt after some woman raped him while he was only trying to sleep with a window-breeze regulating the temperature of his exposed man-parts. We can't totally relate, mind you, because a judge never summarily called our account fictitious and then awarded all those geese something like a million and a half dollars.
But aside from that we know exactly what the man's going through.
In a 2006 issue of a magazine called Sister 2 Sister, DMX and his wife generously granted an interview wherein the topic of a woman who'd fairly recently given birth to his child came up. To this, the rapper gave this tremendous quote:
"She raped me… That might sound like some bullshit, [but] is that the only thing in the world that's not possible? Because when I sleep, my [penis] be out… DNA says it is [my child]. I don't know… If I did [have sex with her], I would remember. It ain't like she's a pretty girl."
When asked by hecklerspray why he wouldn't use his powers to metamorph into a dog and get the heck out of there, no answer was given. DMX's wife did comment on the matter though. She said:
"I felt like [the trial] did bring us closer."
Whether the couple's new closeness happened before or after the judge ruling over a lawsuit by the accused DMX sleep-rape woman decided that DMX had to pay his alleged assailant a little more than $1.5 million is unknown.
What is known is that the hip-hopper is very concerned about his dogs.
Read More:
DMX Ordered To Pay $1.5 Million In Damages To Son's Mother – MTV News
fiance to the stars says
I have to admit that I sleep-raped someone once. You men really should learn to put your penises away while you sleep.