Most rappers are big dull lunkheads who just mumble about themselves, but not DMX. DMX is good value – he’s going to jail for a week for driving a car like a crazy fool.

Not that it’s a big deal to DMX, though. He was already in jail for driving a car like a crazy fool anyway, and will serve the week concurrently.

DMX (CDs) is like a hip-hop version of Maureen from Driving School, only
without the nervous Welsh man sitting next to him screaming ‘Woah!"
whenever he’s about to do anything stupid. Like getting caught driving
with a suspended license, which DMX keeps doing.

This latest week in jail stems from an incident in April where DMX rammed a
car in his SUV, which then hit a police car. As well as the week-long
prison term, DMX was also fined $500 by Judge George Villegas who
refused the rapper probation because "he’s a violation waiting to
happen."

And even the briefest of looks at the car trouble that DMX has gotten
himself into shows that the judge might just have a point. DMX is already one-third of the way through a 70-day jail sentence for – you guessed it – driving with a suspended license.

DMX’s troubles began back in April 2004 when, to avoid paying a $9 airport carpark toll, he crashed into a gate and then told everyone that he was in the FBI. DMX was let off on a one-year conditional discharge, which he swiftly pissed up a wall by driving his car around at 104 mph – for which he is serving the 70-day sentence; and then indirectly ramming the police car – for which he was given the most recent week in jail.

But it’s not only cars that DMX gets arrested for. In 2003 he was busted for swearing in St Kitts and in 2002 was fined $15,000 and forced to make a series of public service announcements after being found in his house with a 9mm pistol, crack pipe and 13 pitbull terriers.

You don’t hear this sort of thing happening to The Kaiser Chiefs, do you?

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[story by Stuart Heritage]