You know us here at hecklerspray.

We're your pals. And what do pals do best? Provide you with links to baffling and unnerving websites, that's what. We especially like doing this on Fridays (as you can probably tell from that handy feature title).

So far – if you've been with us long enough – our merry trawl has introduced you to Sonic the Hedgehog fetishists, werewolf support groups, Short Circuit obsessives and crudely animated CGI videos of Mickey Mouse dancing around in a genuinely unnerving manner.

This week we're examining a frankly staggering new consumer product.

Oh – just to let you know – if you happen to be reading this in the office, you may really want to think twice before investigating things further. Or at least wait until lunch break when no-one else is around, anyway.

First up: a confession. That headline may be a little inaccurate. As the makers of this fine product are quick to point out, it isn't exactly a perfume. There's none of that Lynx-spraying, lady-flocking nonsense going on here. Although ladies are actually pretty integral to the scheme of things:

The phial is shaken gently. Only a tiny amount of the precious organic substance is applied onto the back of the hand.

Any clues yet? Oh, hell – we're sure the title below will give you some idea.

Check out the Patrick-Bateman-in-waiting in the promo vid, by the way.

VULVA

Really, really not suitable for work