The 1980s, eh?

They were a strange old time. So strange, in fact, that we're imagining Stuart Maconie's retrospective face right now, waffling away about how BMX Choppers were "mental" and how the opening sequence to Knightmare "always made me hide behind the sofa! Honest!!! No, really, it did!!! Can I have my money now?"

You know what else the 1980s were good for? Films that you can now see repeated every Bank Holiday on ITV, that's what – from The Goonies to The Princess Bride to, erm, that one with Corey Feldman where he has to learn to drive but isn't very good at it. Platoon, we think it's called.

King of all these mid-afternoon public holiday TV treats, however, is Short Circuit – the story of an amusing robot called Johnny Five who gets into all sorts of government-annoying scrapes. Well we say amusing. By the point – about five minutes in – you've seen Johnny whizz-read through another book for the millionth time, and then yabber about what he's learned in his silly robot voice, you'll want to douse the bastard in soapy water and watch his circuits really short.

Short Circuit, then – not the sort of movie you devote your life to. Okay, not all of us, anyway. The chaps over at this Johnny Five internet shrine would evidently seem to disagree. Best bit: check out the 'scrapbook' section for a full-on descent into one woman's madness.

Someone really should call social services, shouldn't they?

Johnny Five Obsessives