Anyone see Die Hard 4.0 this summer?

It was enjoyable popcorn fun, sure – but hecklerspray thought it would have been, like, sixty billion times better if it had included one vital element. And what element is that?

Why, a Japanese Bruce Willis, that's what.

Thank the sweet baby Jesus, then, for Puchi Bruce. We don't know anything about Puchi Bruce really, other than that a) he is indeed Japanese, and b) his bizarre recreations of key scenes from the Die Hard movies are among some of the most baffling video clips you'll ever see in your life.

Want to see Puchi Bruce in action? Sure you do. In fact, if you click yerself over to Japan Probe (officially one of the best sites in the world, second only to the one you've strapped your eyes to right now) you can treat yourself to a whole assortment of the buggers. And what would be a better starting point than Puchi Bruce jumping off a building ? We honestly couldn't say.

"Hold on…" we can hear you murmur. "Bruce Willis? John McClain? He's yesterday's news. Aren't those Japs up to date with the latest development in action heroes? Don't they know who Jack Bauer is?"

Silly fools. Of course they know who Jack Bauer is. They like him so much, in fact, that they've created a truly bizarre commercial for the upcoming 24 boxset … which includes a special Japanese Jack Bauer song that's so infuriatingly catchy you'll be singing it as you're lowered into your grave.

Altogether now: "Jac-CK BOW-eerrrr"… 

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Puchi Bruce – Japan Probe