You know, certain people in the hecklerspray office aren't particularly big in stature.

This can annoy us occasionally – until we remember that certain people in the world have genuine problems, like starving or dying and stuff. Then we just forget all about it and go back to stalking Lindsay Lohan instead.

But certain short people are just downright inconsolable. Like these American fellas – the Short Persons Support society, who believe that being a bit of a dwarf-arse can cause all of sort of problems in life. They're particularly annoyed about short people being 'made to look like fools' in national television commercials (Holiday Inn are a special offender in this case).

So… if you're short and upset, why not join this disparate bunch? Or – alternatively – why not take advantage of your diminutive status and use it to sneak into the nearest school disco? It is Friday, after all, and we hear that Benny Tucker from Form 7F has nicked his mum's bottle of Lambrini.

Be at the bike sheds, 11.30. One glass each and no negotiations.

Innit.

Check out the angry short people

[story by C J Davies]