Disturbia Still Lording It Over The Weekend Box Office

Now that Disturbia is number one at the weekend box office again, the world is Shia LaBeouf's oyster, and he's treating it as such - literally like an actual oyster, by slurping it raw out of the shell, feeling nauseous and wondering what all the fuss is about.

And Disturbia's weekend box office success has unearthed a brand new box office genre just dying to be mined - the Shia LaBeouf slash Alfred Hitchcock slash new communications technology genre. Coming soon - a Shia LaBeouf remake of Psycho, where Shia LaBeouf's mental discrepancies cause him to think that his dead mother is sending podcasts to his Blackberry; or Shia LaBeouf in The Birds, where the birds all have bloody PSPs or something. Look, we haven't really thought this through.

One of the best explanations for Disturbia's continued stay at the top of the US weekend box office is that events of the last week have put people off going to see various other films. For instance, Hot Fuzz didn't make the weekend box office top five because a film about gunplay seems a little raw so soon after the Virginia massacre, and The Valet didn't make the weekend box office top 30 because, well, who'd want to see a film about an effing valet? Here's the US weekend box office top five…

1 - Disturbia (When Disturbia was the number one weekend box office movie last week, Shia LaBeouf was rewarded with a role in Indiana Jones 4 - now that it's number one again we can expect Shia LaBeouf to be in like, um, Rambo 5 or something. Again, we've failed to think this through properly) $13,460,000

2 - Fracture (Where Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling have, in the words of one reviewer, "A good old-fashioned acting contest." Who is able to memorise some words and then say them to each other better, the old man or the boy out of The Notebook? Watch Fracture and find out!) $11,180,000 

3 - Blades Of Glory (Still in the weekend box office top five, despite there being a Will Ferrell video on the internet that's funnier, shorter and full of more swearing toddlers than Blades Of Glory) $7,808,000

4 - Vacancy (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsdale go to a creepy hotel. How creepy? Coin-operated hairdryer creepy. Brrr) $7,600,000

5 - Meet The Robinsons (Now surely in its last week in the US weekend box office top five. The box office will be a poorer place without it, and by 'poorer' we mean 'easier to understand') $7,088,000

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Weekend Box Office - Box Office Mojo