“Disheveled” and “Britney Spears” have Basically become Synonymous

disheveled

For the past decade, it’s been like poor Britney Spears just can’t win. Sure, musically she’s still had a bunch of success, but between her marriage to K-Fed, mental breakdown, and the fact that a taxidermy cheetah has more life in their eyes, I feel pretty bad for her, and now she’s being hit again.

One of Britney’s former back-up dancers, Dawn Noel (does her name seriously mean Christmas morning?! Seriously?!), is suing my beloved Brit Brit because she allegedly broke her nose back in August and didn’t seem to give a fuck (Hate to break it to you, homegirl, but no one on that much Ativan gives a fuck.)

Christmas Morning was hired to work on Britney’s video for “Work Bitch” and Christmas says that Britney showed up:

in a disheveled and confused state.

Bitch please, like that is news. Britney Spears has been disheveled for like 10 years straight. I could make a Top 100 Disheveled Britney Spears Pics countdown of just the last 5 fucking years. If you choose to work for Britney Spears post-2005, you have to accept that you’re working with this, at best:

sickmoves

Because you’re not getting this anymore:

twirl

Because THAT girl died inside once she let Kevin Federline enter her.

Anyway, Dawn Noel is claiming that Britney had a lot of troubles with the moves and accidentally kicked her in the face and just said “I’m sorry” all nonchalantly like she didn’t exactly give a fuck (again, you take an Ativan and try to give a fuck. I dare you!) and now Noel is suing her.

Noel says she just wants her medical fees to be reimbursed and I can get behind that, but I feel like there should be some sort of working with Britney Spears clause now. Like her and Lohan should have: “Worth with at your own risk” in all their contracts.

Britney Spears really breaks my heart though. I want her to get her life back together for real so she can do the one thing that will make us all happy:

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Britney and Justin forever.

Comments

  1. Truth says

    This made me lol. Britney can do no wrong. But I’m sure homegirl will pay for this sorry excuse to get a nose job anyway. NEXT!