Just a heads up, I am FULL of anger atm and I am directing it a lot of places, so be ready for some seriously pissed off blogging starting with the OFFENSIVE ABOMINATION that is the made-for-tv Dirty Dancing remake.
When I found out ABC was going to one of those stupid musical made-for-tv remakes of the beloved classic Dirty Dancing I was like “Uh, why would you remake perfection? Stop this right now.” But apparently ABC doesn’t care about MY feelings because they’ve started releasing pictures from the remake and I am LIVID.
An hour ago my mom tagged me in a post on Facebook to this link of pics to the new Dirty Dancing and she isn’t even the first person to come at me like “Oh, look! The new Dirty Dancing! Krysta loves Dirty Dancing! TAG!” as if I could POSSIBLY like this shit.
Unlike the MONEY HUNGRY BUSINESSMEN AT ABC* who are NOT real Dirty Dancing fans, I am a TRUE Dirty Dancing fan and KNOW that making a shitty made-for-tv remake of LEGENDARY CLASSIC Dirty Dancing starring the bitch from Little Miss Sunshine (who I actually adore in Scream Queens) is like going directly to Patrick Swayze’s grave, opening up a bottle of Pinot Noir, pouring it out all over said grave, then calling Weekend at Bernie’s a shitty movie and Gary Oldman ugly. If you’re wondering why that’s my analogy, it’s because that is HONESTLY the most offensive thing I personally could ever witness.
I will NOT be watching this remake and IN FACT I will be BOYCOTTING ABC (only during the broadcast of said made-for-tv movie) AND I will be writing a LENGTHY letter to my CLOSE AND PERSONAL friend Jennifer Grey to let her know that unlike ABC, I would NEVER replace her!
And if you are wondering why I am so dramatic this evening, it’s because Belle from Beauty and the Beast was always my favorite Disney princess and tonight I saw this image and realized I did NOT grow up to be Belle, but am rather the stressed out bitch with children yelling about eggs AND THAT IS A LOT TO COME TO TERMS WITH, OK?!
*I actually love ABC because The Goldbergs and Speechless are like go to tv for me. In fact, their Wednesday night line up is one of the small joys I have in my sad, liberal snowflake life. Yeah, that’s right. I’ve read your comments. I know what you think of me!