After being a bit rubbish for a while, James Bond people have finally pulled their finger out of their arses and attempted to make things better.

They realised that Pierce Brosnan was only going to turn the films into girly musicals with spontaneous dance routines, so they had to relieve him of duty. Or put a bullet in his brain.

Enter Daniel Craig, the moody-looking sod who took over. His turn as Bond made sure that the films were at least semi-watchable. Despite the franchise getting back on its feet after a slight wobble, there is a potential villain waiting in the wings to destroy everything. Diddy wants to be the next James Bond, and no doubt wants to try and kill his enemies by spraying his fragrance in their eyes.

There’s nothing more annoying than people who think they can do everything. Despite our attempts to avoid him, we’ve all heard a song where Diddy will blab on about a large amount of money or some woman he pimped out. To say he repeats himself time and time again would be a slight understatement.

The only real acting experience that Diddy has is in his music videos and even then they aren’t that impressive. Once the jewellery trucks arrive to bling out everyone, a director simply shouts action and everyone sways around for a few moments. And there you have it, how to make a rap video.

Despite being confined to these sorts of videos, Diddy still has the confidence to want to audition for the role of James Bond even though nobody needs a new James Bond.And he’s got the cash to prove it.

Yes that’s right, Diddy decided to show that he is a) a moron and b) has too much money by blowing silly amounts on a tape to show that the next role as James Bond should go to him. Digital Spy reports:

The rapper took a private jet to the south of France to produce the action segment, which he hopes will sway Bond executives. The clip will apparently double as promotional footage for Diddy’s fragrance, I Am King.

Great, we’ve basically got a really expensive advert for a product we can’t really tell is of any use. Fragrance adverts at the best of times are pretentious piles of poo due to the fact we can’t smell them via our TVs. Genius work, there, Mr Diddy. We’ll definitely rush out and pick up a bottle. Diddy also said:

“This is my audition tape for the next James Bond. There is a black President and it’s time for there to be a black Bond. God bless…”

We’ve all heard Diddy’s incisive political thoughts before the American election. Maybe it’s about time to tell him that Barack Obama is a real person and James Bond is the creation of a writer. Perhaps Diddy also believes in Santa. Perhaps he’ll be leaving a trap out to capture him this month before unveiling him to the world.

If Diddy did get the role, you’d know he’d balls up James Bond something rotten. He’d change the character’s name to something daft like Jay Bonza or J Bod before getting the character to travel around the world with a 50-strong gang of minders, makeup artists and managers.