Diddy knows all about being a man. It takes a man to dedicate songs to Princess Diana during a gushy tribute concert, but Diddy knows that it takes a real man to split up with your girlfriend seven months after she's given birth to your twins.
Diddy – the man who popularised mumbling over old Sting records to such a degree that now even Sting is doing it – has split up with Kim Porter a few months after Kim went to the effort of giving birth to Diddy's twin daughters. The exact reasons why Diddy and Kim Porter have split are unclear as yet, with whispers suggesting that it may be linked to Diddy's rumoured affair with Sienna Miller, but we'd like to go out on a limb and suggest that hopefully Kim Porter moved out of Diddy's house because she's just worked out what a totally self-absorbed dicksplat Diddy actually is.
There was a time when the biggest problem in Diddy's life was either the way he kept changing his name so much that DJs we've never heard of sued him or when he took a huge advance for his autobiography and then didn't bother to actually write anything. But that was before Kim Porter, the mother of Diddy's children, decided to suddenly up sticks and leave him. E! Online reports:
The hip-hop mogul has split with Kim Porter, his on-again, off-again partner of 10 years and three-time baby mama, the singer's publicist confirmed Tuesday to E! News… Last week, the New York Post reported that the 36-year-old Porter had moved out of the New York apartment she shared with the 37-year-old Bad Boy mogul and was en route to new Los Angeles digs with son Christian, 9, and seven-month-old twin daughters, D'Lila and Jessie James.
Nobody is really sure why Kim Porter suddenly split up with Diddy, although one persistent rumour is that Diddy apparently can't keep it in his pants. Not only has there been a lawsuit by a man who claims Diddy smacked flames out of him when he took offence to Diddy hitting on his girlfriend, but also Diddy has possibly been porking Sienna Miller, a woman so desperate for even a molecule of fame that she'll bone men on film just for the attention. So far Diddy has been seen flirting outrageously with Sienna Miller on a number of occasions, was introduced by Sienna Miller at the recent Princess Diana concert and has been filmed trying to sneak into Sienna Miller's hotel.
So who can blame Kim Porter for splitting up with Diddy, even if we suspect they'll be back together before long. They have a history of it, you see – three years ago Kim Porter sued Diddy to have him formally declared as the father of their son Christian, and Diddy was ordered to pay more than $11,000 a month in child support – that's in addition to the $19,000 a month Diddy pays for another one of his sons. But despite the lawsuits, Diddy still managed to get back with Kim Porter enough to get her pregnant with his kids – and last December Kim Porter gave birth to Diddy's twin daughters.
But now it's all over. While we can take some solace in the fact that Diddy's twins haven't developed sufficient mental and language skills to comprehend what an irresponsible fucktard their father is yet, news of the split still chills us to the core. After all, with four kids to pay child support for now, it's only a matter of time before Diddy has to release another album to make some money. God knows nobody wants that to happen.
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