Stunning actress Demi Moore turned fifty over the weekend … that’s right, fifty years old. It’s hard to believe that Jules is practically a senior citizen, but it’s true. Back in the old days, Demi was hot as shit. She was so gorgeous that Robert Redford was willing to pay $1 million to nail her. She was even hot as a bald Navy Seal.
Remember her in St. Elmo’s Fire with the hair and the husky voice? She was the wet dream of every man who’s now pushing 40. And, as you can see in this photo taken just a few weeks ago, she’s still incredibly beautiful, if somewhat more emotionally damaged.
Last year at this time, her six-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher was disintegrating in the wake of his alleged infidelity. In the ensuing months, she looked increasingly sickly and skeletal, and I wanted to feel sorry for her … girl power and all that … but she had to know it wasn’t going to last, didn’t she?
Regardless, when Ashton began parading around, looking so cute and age-appropriate with Mila Kunis, Demi had to have been furious. A full year since the split and a few months since Ashton and Mila went public as a couple … even if Demi is now getting railed by Tatum Channing (she’s not, but for argument’s sake) … it has to suck super-shit to see someone you loved and who used to love you, now the highest paid actor on television, dating a woman who is not only 20 years younger than you, but is featured on the cover of one magazine or another every month and billed as the hottest thing on planet Earth.
This month, she’s topless on the cover of Esquire in tight leather pants and a wrinkle-free (and Botox-free) face being hailed as the Sexiest Woman Alive (I’m talking about Mila, of course). No matter how high Demi’s self-esteem is, no matter how over Ashton she might be, no matter how okay she is with her age, that has got to suck.
Frankly, I suspect that all of Demi’s strife is a result of karma from her dumping Bruce Willis, who is quite possibly the coolest guy on earth. She broke his heart and then ran around in bikinis looking awesome. Married young stud Ashton and tweeted endless photos of herself with him looking flushed and fresh out of bed. But Bruce got the last laugh because look where Demi is and he’s married to a British model, closer to Mila’s age than Demi’s, with a new baby who will probably be way cuter than his three weird-looking daughters with Demi.
Not one to let her advanced age slow her down, Demi had an eventful week leading up to her birthday. She began by attending the Formula 1 Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi and then jetting to Jodhpur, India for an extravagant 2-day party hosted by Naomi Campbell. Demi didn’t go home to rest up after that, but evidently went right on back to Abu Dhabi.
Regardless of her age, Demi is still absolutely stunning and I’m sure there are plenty of rich dudes (probably in Abu Dhabi) who would be more than willing to pay $1 million to bag her old bones should she ever get so desperate.