OK, so that headline is a lie – yes, a pair of David & Victoria Beckham waxworks have been unveiled at Madame Tussauds in New York, but any Americans who go wild over some wax shaped like a Spice Girl and her husband deserve a shoeing.

To mark the official end of David Beckham’s competitive football career and the start of a new career as a highly-paid performing monkey for the Los Angeles Galaxy football team, the New York branch of Madame Tussauds has set up a brand-new ‘Welcome To America’ exhibit featuring George W Bush greeting David Beckham and his wife Victoria. Since they’re just a couple of sculpted blobs of wax it’s difficult to gauge public opinion of the David & Victoria Beckham waxworks, although common consensus says that the David Beckham waxwork is three times more intelligent than its real-life counterpart, and Victoria Beckham’s waxy tits don’t look nearly fake enough.