David Hasselhoff Finally Sorts Out His Divorce

David Hasselhoff is no stranger to washing his dirty linen in public, but that's probably because he made it dirty by either wetting himself or belching up globs of half-chewed hamburger down it.

And David Hasselhoff's pretty swell at idiomatically washing his dirty linen in public, too - just look at the endless public squabbling between David Hasselhoff and his ex-wife Pamela Bach during and after their divorce. However, the good news is that Hasselhoff and Bach have finally reached a settlement about their post-divorce battle over their money and children. Great news for the Hasselhoff children - this settlement means they can now play their parents off each other for material gain instead of just standing around filming David Hasselhoff rolling around the floor gurgling and pushing clumps of fast food into the side of his head because that's where he thinks his mouth is.

Even though the Spears/Federline custody battle tops it for sheer bloody tedium and the Baldwin/Basinger custody battle tops it for pig-based abuse tapes, the custody battle between David Hasselhoff and his ex-wife Pamela Bach was so spectacularly violent that we're not sure it can ever be surpassed. And in a world containing Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, that's quite the statement.

Throughout David Hasselhoff and Pamela Bach's divorce and custody battle, accusations of abuse were constantly thrown around, as were supposed child suicide bids and the phrase "whore cunt bitch slut drug addict." And although David Hasselhoff came off far worse in the public relations battle - witness the stories of him drunkenly urinating in his trousers at an airport or that topless burger-eating video - it was David Hasselhoff who was given full custody of his two daughters, a decision which made the world wonder just what the hell Pamela Bach was up to.

However, after months and months of bitter scrapping, David Hasselhoff and Bach have reached a settlement over their financial and custody rights. It's thought that the pair of them will now share custody of their children, although nobody wanted to disclose what form of spousal support Bach was getting. According to a statement released by David Hasselhoff:

"I'm pleased that everything has been resolved and I'm proud of my
kids, who remain strong and have exhibited dignity during this very
difficult time. We are all moving on."

Apparently this settlement came about because David Hasselhoff invited Pamela Bach to temporarily live in his house. Does this mean that the old spark of romance is being rekindled? We'd like to think so, because this time of year is all about goodwill and joy - and frankly there's not much more joyous than the thought of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Bach getting back together. 

It means that we'd get to watch another round of petty divorce bitching between the two of them in a couple of years, you see.

Read more:

Hasselhoff, Bach Settle Divorce Issues - Associated Press