David Gest Show To Air In UK, Other Nations Sympathetic

If you are one who is quick to become queasy, we implore you to read no further, because the terror that is about to strike the UK could claim the lives of any unlucky channel surfer that happens to land on the latest travesty to hit the small screen as the viewer attempts to purge his mind of the inevitably heinous images by gouging his eyes with a salad tong.

Ok, we might be being a tad dramatic here, but even though no one really cares about the happenings of David Gest even if they do know who he is, we just feel it’s our duty to warn you that he’s going to be on TV because he gives us the heebie jeebies. And so, clinging to the coat tails of fleeting fame of being ex-Mr. Liza Minnelli tighter than that liquid metal dude did with his metal hand hooks to the car bumper in Terminator 2, he’s making his own reality series to be aired in the UK.  

This won’t be the first encounter David Gest has had with the prestigious - and always classy - world of reality television. He has also appeared on I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!, which Gest referred to as "a life-changing experience." We can’t see how a tarantula crawling on his head and coming face-to-face with an alligator could be any sort of a challenge after his marriage to Liza Minnelli, but whatever.

For those of you that aren’t aware, or who have suppressed the memories by pushing them deeply into the back of your mind like we should all do with emotional trauma, David and Liza blissfully united in 2002 for all of about a year. During the brief marriage the two seemed to take a page out of a soap opera plot book with Gest claiming he got the snot beat out of him by his often hammered bride, and Liza insisting he pocketed her money and tried to poison her. That’s when you can tell that the honeymoon’s really over, folks.

After all the brutality David Gest's endured, one can only imagine how excited he must be about this new television venture. He must be overjoyed because of the love he’s developed for the British people. (You probably thought we were going to say that we can only imagine how excited he is because his motionless, wrinkle-free face makes it impossible to tell if he’s excited, but we would never stoop to such obvious jabs. Please, people, we’re professionals). He recently expressed that he’s having “a new love affair with the Brits.”

Wow, all of them? Now that would make for some good reality television.

Read more:

David Gest Is Out… On The Town - TMZ.com