David Duchovny Gets Dropped For Dropping His Trousers

Sex (or tossing off) addict David Duchovny may get sacked as the new face of Johnston and Murphy clothing. Presumably because he can’t keep any of the firm’s pants on long enough to sell them.

If you’re British you probably won’t have heard of Johnston and Murphy, they’re a 150-year-old American retailer who flog pale jeans and diamond jumpers to old men and lots of taupe to old women. Over the pond they call it apparel; over here we call it M&S.

Duchovny has been Johnston and Murphy’s poster boy since July of this year. Though thoughts of him sitting at his PC jizzing over the triple anal delights of Randy Rita were apparently too much for company bigwigs to bear. Their New York outlet was asked to remove all traces of Duchovny from the store windows (hopefully this just meant photos and not love excreta).

A staff source commented:

“We got the call from corporate this morning to take him down.“

This move happened last Friday, which was just a few days after Duchovny checked himself into a sex and tossing rehab clinic (how do they cure you, with constant exposure to Winehouse upskirts?). Though when Johnston and Murphy originally signed Duchovny, they had nothing but good things to say about Sir Fistalot.

Said a company spokesperson at the time:

“We are thrilled. David embodies success and confidence, along with a great sense of style, communicating the ideal image for the Johnston and Murphy brands.“

Perhaps they should have conducted more thorough research beforehand? This is not the first time Duchovny has been labelled a ’sex’ addict. He told Playgirl magazine in 1997:

“I’m not a sex addict. I have never been to those meetings. It’s hurtful to my family and if I was involved with a woman in a monogamous relationship, it would be hurtful to her.“

Too true. Of course Duchovny plays a proper sex addict in U.S. drama series Californication. This irony won’t be lost on anyone; not us, not the rest of the world’s media and not the producers of Californication who are preparing to debut the show’s second season later this month.

Duchovny should grab all this attention with his one spare hand while he can. We’re a forgiving bunch if someone cries a lot and talks us to death about a tough childhood (’We didn’t even have computers back then!!’).

Plus the next time he screws us over with another terrible X-Files movie, we’ll at least know he can’t help it.