David Blaine's water stunt has ended in spectacularly dramatic fashion, as Blaine sort of jiggled about gently underwater for a bit before some divers yanked him out of his special big magic human aquarium.
After spending a week living in a ball or water in New York, pissing through a tube and enduring all kinds of idiotic tourists gooning around in front of him, David Blaine's underwater stunt failed because he couldn't hold his breath for more than seven minutes. What a lightweight – seven minutes of breath-holding is nothing to anyone trying to use the London Underground during rush hour in the middle of summer without sniffing up 200 people's sweaty armpit stink, you see.
When David Blaine looks back at his life, he'll be able to handpick from a rich variety of highlights. He's stood on a pole for a day and a bit, he's taken off his clothes and encased himself in ice, he's shut himself in a box while cockeys throw burgers at him, he's sort of messed up a card trick with Richard Bacon on The Big Breakfast. But even a creepy magician like David Blaine has his limits and – although he spent a week underwater – he arsed up the grand finale: holding his breath for nine minutes while he unlocked some handcuffs.
The world record for a person holding their breath is eight minutes and 58 seconds, and that's the target that David Blaine had in mind when he started his water stunt last week. He trained endlessly with Navy Seals to ensure his body was in prime physical condition ahead of the challenge.
But it wasn't to be – all that water had knackered Blaine's body. His skin was burning, his muscles were atrophying and his liver may have packed up, which all affected his ability to hold his breath. After seven minutes and eight seconds of textbook breath-holding, emergency divers were sent in to fish David Blaine out. Blaine was given oxygen, then burst into tears, telling the crowd:
"I am humbled so much by the support of everyone from New York City and from all over the world. This was a very difficult week, but you all made it fly by with your strong support and your energy. Thank you so much, everybody. … I love you all."
But no doubt he loves the $9 million he earnt during the last week a little bit more, though. So, now it's been shown that not even a fool with an eye painted on his hand can hold his breath for nine minutes, what will David Blaine's next stunt be? And more importantly, does anyone really care?
Read more:
Blaine fails to set underwater record – ABC
[story by Stuart Heritage]