David Blaine Idiot Update - Almost Dying Edition
Then buzz it up
May 10th, 2006 at 14:30 by Stuart Heritage
David Blaine is either a shining example of the human's spiritual need to push itself to the very limits of existence or an attention-seeking knob who bursts into tears every time he gets a bit wet.
As you know, David Blaine's latest underwater stunt ended in gigantic failure on Monday night, with some shiny divers having to fish Blaine out of his magic aquarium because he couldn't hold his breath very well. Now David Blaine's trainer (or Blainer, to use the correct title) has revealed that the ridiculous idiot magician almost died underwater.
The world knows all about David Blaine and his stupid water stunt by now, but here's a quick recap. David Blaine, following a spell suspended above London while braying city boys showed their arses to him, decided to spend a week underwater in New York. The week flew by, with David Blaine managing to pass the time by weeing in a tube, posing for photographs and atrophying all his muscles. Then Blaine ballsed up the big finale by not being able to hold his breath for as long as he thought.
And according to the Blainer, a guy named Kirk Krack, things were getting very hairy inside his big wet ball - in the last few moments of the finale, David Blaine fell unconscious and started convulsing:
"If we hadn't intervened, he would still be at the bottom of the sphere doing a breath-hold… I wasn't focused on records, I was thinking of a rescue."
Following the giant failure of his stunt, David Blaine was hauled off to hospital, where doctors looked at all the internal organs that started to pack up after spending eight days underwater. Blaine was released yesterday, making noises about wanting to have another crack at the breath-holding record. Because - despite making a rumoured $9 million from the stunt, David Blaine is still very sad, according to his doctor, Murat Gunel:
"He still feels today that he let people down."
Too right he did - the world wants to see David Blaine hold his breath underwater for nine minutes, whatever it takes. See you at the ducking stool, David…
Read more:
Blaine rescued 'in nick of time' - BBC
[story by Stuart Heritage]
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May 11th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
David Blaine is an inspiration to all of us who make a big deal out of doing little things day after day. He is a focused, determined soul who does what he sets out to do. Very impressive!
May 12th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
David Blaine…
My god man, can’t you get a proper job like a butcher or banker or say…Full time Wanker??
David Blaine is a money grabbing sould destroying ego maniac that needs to be stopped
He teases us with these life threatening stunts and just when it looks like he’s going to do us all a favour and finally choke on his own vomit…they pull him out of the fish tank!!!
we were so close ppl. Im starting a petition to get David to maybe try and fly of a tall building somewhere… if anyone knows of any companies with a really really tall building that wouldnt mind scraping him off the pavement outside their reception let me know!
we could call it corporate art
May 16th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
hahahhahahaha!
well said - what a bloody fool
January 1st, 2008 at 6:14 pm
David Blaine was like-the greatest magician in the whole world.
And he does that for money.
but what does he decide?
life? or Money?
9 million dollars compared to a life like 900 septillion dollars?
instead of breaking a record for 5 minutes breathing underwater or instead of planning a better job that could cost $9 million???
September 26th, 2008 at 2:42 am
I’m finding it utterly amusing that the David Blaine “haters” out there are spending so much time and efforts ragging on the guy.
I’m also completely amused by the fact that while lacking the knowledge and ability to utilize proper grammar, they also make themselves further ridiculous by going on about his stunts as if they could do better.
Please…mojothemenace…more likely “mojo lack”…I’d love to see you do better.