There comes a point in everyone’s life when they need a change. Some people might think of switching their job to get that tingly feeling of happiness back. Others however might do something a bit more drastic and alter their body.
In the case of Michael Jackson, he went from black to white overnight. Other people like Puff Daddy change their name to even stranger things like P Diddy. And now another idiot is going to do the same given the advice from another moron.
Say hello to D-Beck, courtesy of Snoop Dogg.
As we’ve been told before, it’s not a good idea to piss off a bunch of rock hard gangsters. Soon, we could be literally swimming with the fishes, the shopping trolleys and the other rubbish that gets thrown in to the sea. Though to be fair, could you really see someone like David Beckham – sorry, D-Beck – taking us out in some sort of hit? No neither can we.
Any sort of sane person would never give a man with the brain the size of pea a weapon capable of inflicting damage on people. More than likely he’ll be allowed to play gangsters as a reward for not bruising his thigh and being sidelined for eight months while pocketing thousands of dollars a week in LA for playing a sport that's as important to Americans as salad. We’re quite sure that D-Beck will be quite happy playing with a potato gun to shoot all the rival imaginary mafia drug lords. It’ll be the closest thing he’ll ever come to popping a cap in someone’s ass.
So what’s came over our cherished English rose? Usually David Beckham only needs to change his haircut and everyone goes loopy. But not this time. It seems that D-Beck has been hanging out with some unsavoury characters who are luring him down the path of oversized jewellery and hos. But who could this rascal be? Why it’s everyone’s favourite animal named rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Everyone knows about Snoop Dogg. Unfortunately a little bit too much. From trying to take weapons on planes and then not being able to understand why, this role model for all children loves a quick toke on the old cannabis stick whilst being arrested for various illegal activities. We’re sure it won’t be to long and he’ll be locked up alongside fellow rap stars Foxy Brown and The Game. A rapper in trouble! There’s a rare occurrence.
Snoop and Beckham go way back, but now David's on Snoop's turf, he has to play by Snoop's rules. And those rules include giving himself a silly name. According to The Sun:
“Snoop thought the name David was a bit boring, and he wasn’t too impressed by Becks either.”
Despite his name now sounding like a new brand of Becks lager, Posh is reported to like his new christened name, giving her another nickname for her husband to memorise, alongside 'Golden Balls', 'Moronic' and 'The Sole Reason Why I’m Famous.'
God only knows what’s next for our favourite exported footballer. But when the D-Beck sing-a-long rap album comes out, then we’ll be worried. We won’t know whether to laugh or cry. More than likely though, it’ll be laughter.
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mst3kster says
Wow, D-Beck! It must have taken Snoop Dogg many brain-racking months to come up with that masterpiece. That’s so original and fresh!!
Come to think of it, everytime I hear Snoop Dogg’s name I picture somebody’s big-ass mutt that can’t keep its nose out of people’s crotches.
JukeBox says
wow Matthew Laidlow…you are SO LOW you even wrote an article that is as low as the mucus under the funges which exists under the garbages!! after i read this so-called ARTICLE…i found that YOU are the one who is obviously the most STUPID, MORON, DUMB-A** writer i’ve ever found on the net!!! hey…for your info…a NAME is just a name..let alone a nickname! it’s just some AMUSING thing someone calls to somebody…NOTHING SERIOUS about it! and some nicknames not even lasted for long! if just b’coz of this nickname you called Becks as idiot, moron etc…then i’d just imagine what are you gonna say once you’ve heard what nicknames his former Real Madrid teammates has called him! are you mentally sick or something? or you are just being paranoid?? please…live life easily..enjoy it..not everything happens in this life has meaning behind it – they just happens! all of us have nicknames..some cool nicknames..and some don’t. well…guess you NEVER have any cool nicknames like Becks does! haha!
dippss says
who wud hav thot david wud team up with snoop of all people,oh well dats hollywood its no suprise well jst keep our eyes peeled 4 the next stunt