Posts from March, 2008

Ah, The Impossible Quiz. How we love you with you deliberately misleading questions and constant insults. The Never Ending Level Game loves you too, because it's sort of copied you a bit.

The Never Ending Level Game is a sort of Impossible Quiz rip-off - there are lots of 'click the circle' this and 'type the colour of the background - but the difference here is that there are 160 levels. Or at least we're told The Never Ending Level Game has 160 levels - level seven has got us stumped beyond belief, to be honest. We're so lame.

Play The Never Ending Level Game now 

When we saw the words 'Pete Doherty obsessed, we were genuinely baffled in to wondering what new drug he was addicted to.

In his not-so long life, the wonky singer has famously dabbled with a few drugs. Well, we say a few. We actually mean shitloads. From cannabis to heroin, he is a shining example of how to fuck your life up. Or how to become the perfect teenage idiot idol. But it looks like we're incorrect about Pete Doherty being hooked on more drugs. That's because his new obsession is - wait for it - Scientology!

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For all the talk of enterprise and skill-sets, it's no secret that people only watch The Apprentice because all the contestants are awful, awful tosspots.

And this year the level of Apprentice awfulness seems to be higher than ever. So awful, in fact, that the first Apprentice reject Nicholas De Lacy-Brown claims to have received death threats from angry viewers.

Now, while we only have Nicholas De Lacy-Brown's word on this - and the man honestly seems like such a bimbling twat that he'd molest his own granny if it got him some headlines - we can't help but wish it was true. After all, if you're going to send death threats to someone, what better reason is there than because they briefly underestimated the wholesale price of lobster? We hear that that's how Salman Rushdie got his fatwa, too.

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The human equivalent of celery, aka eunuch pop star James Blunt, has been pissing and moaning about how hard his life is again.

The You're Beautiful singer says those who run his profession are obsessed with what is "cool", and couldn't care less about creativity.

And you do, Jamesy boy? You care about creativity, do you? Well why not do something about it then? Cut out your larynx and chop off your arms for God’s sake. And, to be honest, the industry can’t be that concerned with what’s "cool", otherwise you would still be getting severe yet justified beatings in the army barracks instead of winging about wise men on a beach with hardons.

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Ready for week two of our Eurovision betting odds? Oh, of course you are you big tease, don't pretend like you're not.

Last week we stormed through all the Eurovision countries beginning with A, which we've come to learn stands for 'appalling'. But this week we're looking at the B countries and a C country. Will they be as rubbish? Actually, no - you'll get to hear about our favourite Eurovision song this week. But we have to plough through this crap first.

So here are the Eurovision betting odds for Belarus, with help from Paddy Power…

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Britney Spears has been offered the chance to play nutjob Blanche DuBois in an upcoming London stage play of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire.

You may be wondering why on earth anyone in their right mind would deem Britney Spears an appropriate figure to take on the role of one of America’s all time great femme fatales but, before you get carried away with that thought, just stop to consider a few things:

First of all, Blanche, as all over 50s and film students know, comes from a small town in Mississippi. And where does Britney come from? That’s right; a small town in Mississippi.

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Hecklerspray has a quick test for you. Try saying the words ‘seal cull hunt’ three times very quickly without using the c-word.

It’s not easy is it? Well, it certainly wasn’t for one poor newsreader on Sky last weekend, who dropped a major clanger by mentioning the c-word live on air during a story about Canada’s annual seal cull. When describing the clubbing to death of seals, he accidentally lets it slip – quite forcibly - what he really thinks about people who cull seals.

Or maybe he just doesn’t like Canadians…or maybe it’s the seals he thinks are cunts.

Anyway, it somehow managed to make a very serious topic into a funny one. Well, they do say Sky are dumbing down the news.

Good spot by The Daily Goss 

Zac Efron has given us an insight into what it’s like to be him.

Zac will be making a welcome return to our cinema screens in the autumn with the third installment of Disney’s High School Musical.

But not before telling us just how great being Zac Efron is. He said:  

"I'm loving it. I'm having a blast. I'm in a good place and really excited to be where I am."

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We all have our favourite Bond Girls – but who is your least favourite? There is no doubt that Bond has bedded some of the most attractive film actresses ever, like Diana Rigg, Ursula Andress, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry and… errr, Grace Jones.

But even Bond's quality control has been shaken and stirred by one too many dry martinis. Not that any of us at hecklerspray would kick any of these misfiring flames out of bed, of course. After all, it's all for Queen and country.

Plus one is called Goodhead.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love and trust each other so much that they have decided to sign a legally binding contract making it a huge financial risk for either of them to sleep with anyone else.

According to Star Magazine website, the world's most famous couple made their love official (any love outside of marriage is unofficial - fact) in New Orleans on Saturday.

What a scoop for Star Magazine! But not so according to people.com, who claim it’s all a big bag of overflowing poppycock.

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Lindsay Lohan wants to merge the musical styles of Kylie and Rihanna for her upcoming album.

Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:

"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."

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There was a time when Jennifer Aniston could have had the pick of any man she wanted. And so, naturally, she picked Brad Pitt.

Her TV show Friends was the greatest show of all time, The Rembrandts were the greatest band of all time, her man was without doubt the sexiest man of all time, and she too was the single most desired female in the human race, second only to a feisty young computer simulation called Lara - but what did Jennifer care about her?

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