This is what we like - ZunderFury contains no messing around. You fly around shooting things and that's it.
That's literally all you do. ZunderFury is so basic you'd think it was carved from a piece of driftwood. You fly around. And you shoot things. Then you fly around. Then you shoot more things. If everything in life was as simple as ZunderFury, well, then your car would probably be made of leaves.
Nigella Lawson and her husband share a wealth of about £110 million, but her kids can piss off if they think they're seeing any of it.
In a recent interview, Nigella Lawson has stated that she's refusing to leave her children any money in her will, because she thinks that rich kids are arseholes and that not earning money "ruins people."
Nigella Lawson married a man worth £100 million and lives in his £7 million Belgravia mansion. And her dad used to be Chancellor Of The Exchequer. We're just saying.
The Grammys are coming, and this week we're letting you bet on who you think will win one of them, because we are kind souls with pure hearts.
Anyway, although the Grammys are going to have the sort of Tina Turner/ Michael Jackson-centric performances that'll have you leaning out of your window to check that it's not the mid-1980s, you can't make money from them. But you can make money from figuring out who'll win the Best Song award at this year's Grammy. Ready?
Good. Then here are the Grammys betting odds for Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's, with help from Paddy Power…
It must be awful being deaf in jail - if ever a yell of "Jailbreak!" went up, you'd just carry on sewing mailbags oblivious to all the fun.
And that's what scares Foxy Brown the most. Still in jail, Foxy Brown has requested to go to California to have her cochlear implant examined and possibly repaired before it causes serious permanent damage to her hearing.
And, naturally, judge Justice Melissa Jackson told her to eff off. We'd like to see her be that brave next time she gets with Foxy Brown's hair-pulling range.
Guess what - the movie Crash is about to get turned into a TV series.
No, not Crash the David Cronenberg movie about James Spader having it off with people inside a smashed-up car - that would be too much like fun - we mean Crash the dreary Oscar-winning movie about racism and whatnot. That's the Crash that's being turned into a TV series.
We know. We can't wait either.
As a recovering addict, Lindsay Lohan knows that the moment even an atom of booze passes her lips she'll fill her trousers with cocaine and go and crash her car somewhere stupid.
But still, that threat alone hasn't stopped Lindsay Lohan from impinging on her Year Of Sex, because it's been reported that Lindsay Lohan recently went out, rubbed herself up and down two different men, chugged a bunch of cocktails and then had a fight with some photographers.
Yeah yeah, allegedly. Jeez.
The Hobbit will definitely be coming to cinemas, and it'll probably have more creepy scrawny Mexican eye-hand monsters than you remembered.
That's because Guillermo Del Toro - director of Pan's Labyrinth and Blade II - is reportedly in talks to take on both proposed Hobbit movies when they eventually get written and made.
And Guillermo Del Toro has certainly won over the fans, too - not because of his creative vision or anything like that, mind you, but because he looks exactly like Peter Jackson in a Bo Selecta mask.
In a few months' time, there are going to be billions of little celebrity babies running around and screaming and crapping themselves, and that'll partly be Gwen Stefani's fault.
Because, in what seems like the millionth case of celebrity knocking-up lately, Gwen Stefani has apparently confirmed that she's 13 weeks pregnant with her second baby. By our calculations, that means that Gwen Stefani fell pregnant on October 23 - with experts suggesting that the new Stefani baby was the product of commemorative lovemaking to mark the sixth anniversary of the Chenchen Moscow Theatre Siege.
Well, we're suggesting it anyway. And we're sort of experts. Right?
Can you guess who the latest former phenomenal musical success is that needs to stage a comeback because they’re out of money? Well, unless you’re a complete tool you don’t have to guess because it says it right there in the title of this entry, genius.
Yes, New Kids on the Block are rumoured to be coming back. That’s right; your favourite five heartthrobs – Jordan, Joey, Jonathon, Donnie and Donny – will be back in the flesh!
Although, it’ll probably be more wrinkly, slightly saggy, muscle-tone free flesh this time around.
This might come as a shock to some of you, so prepare yourselves - Britney Spears is mentally unwell.
And that might not be new - we guessed that the moment Britney shacked up with Kevin Federline - but Britney Spears' manager Sam Lufti has apparently told Barbara Walters that Britney suffers from "mental issues" that she's seeking treatment for.
And how did Britney Spears celebrate this news? By having a gigantic fight with Sam Lufti and then sobbing on a pavement in front of the whole world. In case we didn't already get the message.
As informed members of the music buying public, there are a few things that you should know before reading a live review of Cat Power.
Not the fact that her real name is Chan Marshall (pronounced ‘Shaun’), nor that she has recently become the face of Chanel, handpicked by Karl Lagerfeld himself.
No, we refer to the Winehouse - sized back catalogue of problems that recently looked set to cut short her career.
In the future, we're told, all cars will know how to park themselves. So make the most of Car Park Chaos while you can, because soon the task will be taken by a robot. As will your job, eventually.
So, quick, play this before your robot overlords enslave you. Car Park Chaos is a game all about parking cars. You drive into a car park, stick the car in the designated bay. Without running anyone over. Not running anyone over is hard, by the way. Oh, screw it - it's all hard.
