It didn't take long for the first Big Brother housemate to break a rule. Shabnam has been discussing nominations and, as a result, Big Brother has banned everyone from the bathroom until further notice - so until someone gets their boobs out, then.

And having no bathroom sparked off another giant Big Brother fight, with Emily and Chanelle screaming at each other about a hair straightener. If you haven't seen the fight yet, trust us - it was every bit as thrilling as a fight between a boggle-headed right-wing posho who thinks she's cleverer than she is and the world's least interesting dullard promised to be. Also, yesterday saw Ziggy make the first Big Brother nominations of the series. Which Big Brother housemates did he put up for eviction of Friday? We haven't got a titting clue, but we'll have the appropriate betting odds as soon as he does.

Until then, though, you'll have to make do with the final batch of Big Brother betting odds to win for the week - for Laura, Carole, Ziggy and Anyone Else - with betting odds from Paddy Power...

Pretty much without exception, every single videogame that's ever been based on a film or TV show has been utter cock - from Hudson Hawk on the Amiga to Family Guy on the PS2 - but nobody appears to have informed Brash Entertainment.

Brash Entertainment is a new private equity-backed videogame publisher that will focus solely on making games based on existing movies and TV shows. Already a risky move for the reason we outlined above, Brash Entertainment is making things even harder for itself by announcing that one of the first videogames it will publish will be based on the Saw franchise. No details about the Saw videogame have been announced yet, so we don't know if you'll get to play as a man slowly drowning in the putrefied remains of liquid pigs or a man who has to pull his own jaw off in a bath of acid before he explodes.

The Game - the rapper whose career has floundered because he chose a stupidly indistinct name that just confused people - might just be spending the next five years in jail now that he's been charged with threatening to kill a man with a gun.

The Game - the rapper The Game, not the Michael Douglas film The Game - has been formally charged by Los Angeles authorities with making a criminal threat and possession of a firearm in a school zone after an incident in February where he apparently pulled a gun on a competitor during a basketball match. If The Game's predicament is difficult for you to envision, the events surrounding his arrest are basically the opening credits of The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air although, instead of amusingly spraying paint into his armpits and going off to live with wealthy members of his extended family in an upscale Los Angeles community, The Game pulled a gun out of his car, threatened to kill a man with it and then got arrested. Apart from that, though, identical.

If you're an actress who died of a gunshot wound under mysterious circumstances, the last thing you'd want would be for people to find the diary where you explained how you were visited by the ghost of an actress who shot herself in the head.

But last week that's what Phil Spector's defence team said it had, and promptly asked the judge if it could use the diary as evidence to prove that Lana Clarkson committed suicide instead of getting shot in the face by Phil Spector. However, now the judge has read the diary for himself, it turns out that Lana Clarkson didn't see a vision of an actress who died the exact same way she did, but she saw a shadow move across a window or something instead. And, since the shadow wasn't tiny, didn't have a lesbian haircut and didn't produce River Deep Mountain High, the judge has decided that it can't be used as evidence.

We’re having quite the internal struggle. Not the kind of lactose intolerant internal struggle we just now experienced after eating a carton of Cherry Garcia with a chocolate milk chaser, but an equally arduous internal struggle. We can’t decide who we love more, Pamela Anderson or David Hasselhoff.

On one hand you have Pamela Lee Rock Anderson, one of pop culture’s earliest and most successful examples of surgically-enhanced blonde bombshells becoming ridiculously famous without a smidge of respectable talent. On the other hand you have David “The (self-proclaimed) Hoff” Hasselhoff, a man who befriended a talking car and brought us the majesty that is an ageing man running on the beach while desperately holding in his gut. Actually, we’ve struggled with this quagmire for years, but the breaking news story about Pamela Anderson really challenging herself career-wise by enjoying a stint as a showgirl in Las Vegas and The Hoff’s supportive thunder-stealing comments makes the battle for our love all the more acute.

Mike Tyson, possibly heir to the Tyson chicken empire, is a D-list celebrity at best. He used to be famous for tennis or something, but now he's just known for his alternative means of keeping the celebrity limelight directed in his general direction.

Exactly where that limelight is shining from, however, doesn't seem to matter at all. That's why Mike Tyson, the former eight-time Tour de France champion or what-have-you, is moving to Bollywood.

Did we say moving? Well if the definition of 'moving' is 'deciding to make movies there,' then that's exactly what we meant. And he's getting in just in time too. If the rumour-mill is correct again, Tyson's recently been cast as the Orlando Bloom character in the East-Indian version of Elizabethtown - the second highest grossing movie of all time after Star Trek: the Wrath of Khan, which incidentally made $400,000,000 opening weekend selling slide-rules in popcorn buckets.

That's nerd power.

Paris Hilton's lawyer has said that his newly banged-up client is "doing well" in jail so far, by which we're taking to mean that only one of her lungs has been punctured by an institutionalised violent offender wielding a razor blade in a toothbrush.

Now that Paris Hilton has started her 23-day jail sentence for violating her probation after being arrested for drink-driving, certain details have started to emerge. As well as the worryingly vague "doing well" quote, we've also discovered that Paris Hilton was "focused and cooperative" when she checked into jail, that Paris Hilton's first meal was cereal and bread and that several of Paris Hilton's fellow jailbirds like to shit in their own trousers. It's just like an episode of The Simple Life, only with more eating and being cooperative and doing well and stuff.