Article Archive for March 2007
File this one under Bands You Kind Of Like Now But Are Prepared To Be Pretty Sick Of By Christmas. We get the creeping suspicion that Grace are going to be pretty enormous this year, so now's the time to get in quick and quite like them before everyone else does.
It's chilling to think that a song like
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The Eurovision Song Contest is a bit like the World Cup in that UK victory seems certain beforehand, until we're painfully reminded of what a dreadful bag of bum we are - case in point: Justin Hawkins from The Darkness wants to do Eurovision 2007.
That's right, Justin Hawkins from The Darkness - remember that joke band from a few years ago who had that one song you sort of liked before you bought their first album and listened to it four times, getting progressively more and more irritated each time? Yeah, them. Anyway, Justin Hawkins is on the shortlist to represent the UK in May's Eurovision Song Contest. But don't worry; Britain gets to choose its own Eurovision entry, and as well as Justin Hawkins - basically a has-been twonk from a broken-up band from the past - you'll also be able to pick from, um, two other has-been twonks from broken-up bands from the past, two reformed bands that nobody actually cared about in the first place and someone who wouldn't even be recognised by their own parents. Terry Wogan must be crying into his Guinness.
We're big fans of Chris Morris here at hecklerspray. The comedic gent behind The Day Today, Brass Eye and Jam has produced some of the most genuinely innovative and hilarious British comedy of the last 20 years. In fact, we're such fans that we'll even forgive him for that slightly rubbish Nathan Barley series that no-one watched a couple of years back. It's always with a tinge of excitement, then - which is a big thing round these parts - that we receive news on what Chris Morris is up to next. Apparently he's making something about terrorists.
An open letter from hecklerspray to God:
Dear Lord,
We've never really believed in you. We're sorry. Nothing personal.
It's just that you didn't exactly make it easy, did you? We mean... look at all the suffering that goes on in the world. Look at the horrific extent of man's eternal inhumanity to man. Look at the dismal and depressing things that happen on this spinning globe of ours every single day.
But now? Now you've proven yourself. And in a pretty fantastic way, too.
Let's face it - you could have done something that everyone was expecting, like parting the clouds to poke through your big beardy face and demanding an end to all wars. Or maybe granting everyone the gift of eternal life. Or maybe just making people be that extra-bit nice to each other.
Oh no. You've gone and done something even better.
You're made Jay Kay from Jamiroquai stop making music.
It's day two of our slightly tasteless - yet somehow entire appropriate - look at the runners and riders who are claiming that they knocked Anna Nicole Smith up enough for her to pop a baby out before she died.
Yesterday we started our Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy betting odds off by looking at the two rank outsiders - one of Anna Nicole's bodyguards and some lunatic old German guy who probably never even met her. But enough with the smalltalk - today we're getting serious and focusing on someone who already is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, in writing at least. And that's all the proof he needs, even if about a million other people want him to spit in a cup just so they can make sure.
Here's today's Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy betting odds for - you guessed it - Howard K Stern. Betting odds, as ever, come from Paddy Power...
