The world is full of dreadful vanity projects - think Rudebox, Sting's useless lute album or anything starring Ben Affleck - but possibly the worst of the lot is 30 Seconds To Mars, Jared Leto's band; but the world knows this, and it wants them destroyed.

But even though 30 Seconds To Mars are so bad that we have to start smashing in our teeth with hammers the moment we hear one of their songs just to replace the bad noise with something else, it doesn't mean that Jared Leto doesn't suffer for his art. At a recent 30 Seconds To Mars show, for example, Jared Leto attempted to do a Bono-style walk through the audience to 'connect' with his 'people' or 'something' and ended up in hospital with his nose splattered all across his face.

If you like playing Tom Clancy games with a snorting hormonal teenager from Romania who keeps shrieking east-European cursewords into your ear every time you shoot him, you're not alone - Xbox Live has just racked up its six millionth subscriber.

That means that when you flick on Xbox Live, there are up to six million other people scattered around the globe willing to take you on, no matter what game you want to play - and just about every last one of them is able to beat us at Pro Evo. We're putting that down to the fact that since 2002 Xbox Live users have spent 95 million days playing online, while we actually have jobs and friends and occasionally breath fresh air and stuff. Anyway, in the hope of Microsoft reading this and deciding to chuck thousands of Marketplace Points at us, there are all kinds of Xbox Live stats for you after the jump.

It was a thoroughly decent thing to do when Hot 99.5 decided to pay $19,000 to get Bobby Brown out of jail for missing child-support payments - it's just a shame Bobby Brown decided to spaz it all up like a twunt the instant he was released.

It seemed a fair enough deal - Hot 99.5 would pay the money to release Bobby Brown from jail, and in return Bobby Brown would be an employee of the station for a week. Hot 99.5 gets publicity, Bobby Brown gets out of jail and a platform to broadcast his side of the arrest story. Everyone's a winner - except for Bobby Brown, that is, who decided to wig out at a DJ down a telephone and then hang-up when he realised what was going on; making the child support-avoiding, wife-beating turd-yanker look even more of a nobsack than usual.

Country And Western music seems to be all the rage at the moment, what with the influx of country-influenced American Idol finalists and the newly-rediscovered sport of running over animals in a truck and then cooking them up for dinner and all.

And - apart from Whistlin' Jeb Tenderfoot's Bi-Weekly Banjoganza - there's no greater place to celebrate country music than at the Academy Of Country Music Awards, where just about every country singer you can think of turns up in their smartest pair of dungarees to shoot pistols in the air and drink moonshine every time an award is given out. The nominations for this year's ACM awards have recently been announced, and it looks like it'll be a good year for George Strait; a middle-aged cowboy who we've never heard of, and - since he once recorded a song called Honk If You Honky Tonk - we're not especially keen to, either.

It's hard to hate Diddy. Yes, Diddy might be getting sued for apparently punching a man who protested when Diddy chatted up his girlfriend, but you try staying mad at a man who precedes a beating with the line "I'll smack flames out your ass!" 

According to reports, Diddy's recent run-in with Gerard Rechnitzer - the one that ended with Rechnitzer claiming that Diddy had beaten his face to a soggy pulp - has now turned legal. Gerard Rechnitzer has hit Diddy with a lawsuit following the Hollywood brawl, and is claiming unspecified damages from Diddy for medical expenses, pain and suffering and a replacement pair of trousers for the ones destroyed by all the flames coming out of his ass after Diddy smacked him.

Daniel Radcliffe may have found critical acclaim by swanning around a fancy London stage with his willy hanging out while stabbing a bunch of horses in the eyes with a large metal spike, but he's not going to let that stop him playing Harry Potter.

It has recently been announced that Daniel Radcliffe will temporarily stop mutilating horses in the nude to film the last two Harry Potter movies, Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince and the final Harry Potter story, Harry Potter And The Imaginary Horse-God Who Urges Him To Stab Horses In The Eyes While He's Naked. Oh, we're just kidding - the real title of the last Harry Potter book is Harry Potter And The Horses He Stabs In The Eye While Naked To Annoy The Fat Man Out Of Pie In The Sky A Bit. OK, OK, we'll be serious - the final Harry Potter book is called Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows (And The Naked Horse-Stab Dance Extravaganza).

We're just going to come out and say it - Sprout is a bloody brilliant game. Easy to pick up, tough to master, beautiful to look at, a bit Grow Cube-y - Sprout is everything we want in a game and more.

In Sprout you play a little tiny bean sprout in a pencil crayon world,

Dang that Angelina Jolie. She’s always one-upping us with her do-good antics… 

We make a record number of citizen’s arrests for public urination; Angelina Jolie becomes a UN Goodwill Ambassador. We take mashed potatoes and Matlock videotapes to the local old people’s hotel, or whatever it is; Angelina Jolie visits a wad of impoverished nations. Now, after we put 17 cents into the little plastic box at the checkout counter to help kids with the shakes, Angelina Jolie goes out and adopts another foreign kid.