by Stuart Heritage
This series of Dancing On Ice is starting to edge to a climax now, and the standard of dancing is now so high that only the very best ice-dancers deserve a place in the competition – so not Lee Sharpe, a man more wooden wolf statue than ice skater.
Lee Sharpe is a gruff northern male, and therefore has no time for petty things like emotion. Sadly, though, emotion is the one thing he needed to embrace to be a contender in Dancing On Ice. Well, emotion and not falling over. And an open-minded wardrobe policy. Lee’s Dancing On Ice partner tried everything to make him feel the music more – he went line-dancing and had to pretend a banana was a bunch of flowers from an over-stuffy acting coach – but Lee Sharpe’s staunch refusal to do any of that girly crap was ultimately his downfall. That and the fact he was rubbish at dancing on ice, obviously.
So now Lee Sharpe has been voted out, are we any closer to knowing who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here’s part one of this week’s Dancing On Ice betting odds to win – for Emily Symons and Duncan James – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
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by Chris Laverty
I’ll have you, you, you… aaaaannd you.
Folded:
* Point Break on Five last week (“Go back to the valley, man!†Ah, it’s been too long. Too long)
* Empire Thunderdome (it’s still fun, so go and vote for your favourite domer. Any ideas who you’ll go for..?)
* 300 (Spartans fucking rule)
* M&S possibly buying Sainsbury (why should you care? Because it will give you somewhere else to shop besides Tesco in ten years time)
* Old Jackass on TMF (you can forget how funny it used to be. This’ll remind you)
Creased:
* ‘Scripted’ Top Gear (it’s still great, but some of the features feel overly staged)
* Empire Thunderdome (bloody thing)
* Saw III on DVD (apparently not a parody. We read the box three times over)
* Pizza Hut’s lunchtime buffet offer (that is not on at weekends. So is a complete waste of time for most of us)
* The police (not the group, the pain-in-the-ass coppers who won’t go anywhere near an estate full of fist-happy teenagers, but will happily pull us over twice for running a ‘red’ [read: amber] light in one week)
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