From the monthly archives:

December 2006

SLACKERJACK – FizzBall

by Stuart Heritage

Of all the professors we’ve ever met, probably our favourite is Professor Fizzwizzle. Oh, come on – you remember Professor Fizzwizzle. Professor Fizzwizzle Professor Fizzwizzle. That’s right, now you remember.

Professor Fizzwizzle hasn’t really been on the scene for a long time, but that’s because he’s been busy inventing FizzBall. FizzBall is a new Professor Fizzwizzle game where, instead of listlessly stumbling over barrels to get to randomly placed teleportation devices, the Professor has to… feed some animals! OK, that doesn’t sound like the most exciting thing to do, but you’re forgetting that this is Professor Fizzwizzle we’re talking about, and so instead of just lobbing a banana at a monkey, our hero has created FizzBall, an elaborate game that involves all sorts of bouncing and brick-smashing and… oh, alright, look – FizzBall is basically Breakout but with animals instead of bricks and a noted academic instead of a paddle. But if you don’t fall in love with the idiosyncratic graphics and gameplay of FizzBall then there’s probably something wrong with you.

Order FizzBall Now

Download FizzBall

Of all the professors we've ever met, probably our favourite is Professor Fizzwizzle. Oh, come on - you remember Professor Fizzwizzle. Professor Fizzwizzle Professor Fizzwizzle. That's right, now you remember. Professor Fizzwizzle hasn't really been on the scene for a long time, but that's because he's been busy inventing FizzBall. FizzBall is a new Professor Fizzwizzle game where, instead of listlessly stumbling over barrels to get to randomly placed teleportation devices, the Professor has to... feed some animals! OK, that doesn't sound like the most exciting thing to do, but you're forgetting that this is Professor Fizzwizzle we're talking about, and so instead of just lobbing a banana at a monkey, our hero has created FizzBall, an elaborate game that involves all sorts of bouncing and brick-smashing and... oh, alright, look - FizzBall is basically Breakout but with animals instead of bricks and a noted academic instead of a paddle. But if you don't fall in love with the idiosyncratic graphics and gameplay of FizzBall then there's probably something wrong with you. Order FizzBall Now Download FizzBall
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Disturbing Friday Fun: The Telebuddy

by C J Davies

We all like to look our best on those ‘special occasions’.

Why, only the other week hecklerspray invested in a nice new expensive suit. It really impressed the judge too, almost enough for him to overlook that whole shouty-scary-Hilary-Duff-stalking business.

Still – business meetings, eh? That’s where the real ‘Image Powerplay’ comes into effect. If you’re not looking your best, then that important contract might slip through your fingers. And that – officially – would be a billion times worse than the death of the dinosaurs. So why not invest in a freakish boggle-eyed puppet that speaks in your voice to help you? Ladies and gentlemen, you need The Telebuddy.

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Strictly Come Dancing Betting Odds: Louisa Or Mark?

by Stuart Heritage

Now that the Strictly Come Dancing wheat has been sorted from the Strictly Come Dancing chaff – and we’re certain that this isn’t the first time that Claire King has been called chaff – the last few weeks of Strictly Come Dancing are going to be tight.

Well, the last few weeks of Strictly Come Dancing will be tight in theory at least. But a lot of things are true in theory. In ‘theory’ bumblebees can’t fly and in ‘theory’ you shouldn’t be able to ram an entire stick of spaghetti down your pee-hole. But reality often gets in the way of theories, and this is as true for Strictly Come Dancing as it is for the pee-hole thing. You see, even though any of the five remaining Strictly Come Dancing contestants could theoretically win the show, really it’s a two-horse between a couple of dancers. Which two? Read the headline again, dummy.

Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Louisa Lytton and Mark Ramprakash…

Now that the Strictly Come Dancing wheat has been sorted from the Strictly Come Dancing chaff - and we're certain that this isn't the first time that Claire King has been called chaff - the last few weeks of Strictly Come Dancing are going to be tight. Well, the last few weeks of Strictly Come Dancing will be tight in theory at least. But a lot of things are true in theory. In 'theory' bumblebees can't fly and in 'theory' you shouldn't be able to ram an entire stick of spaghetti down your pee-hole. But reality often gets in the way of theories, and this is as true for Strictly Come Dancing as it is for the pee-hole thing. You see, even though any of the five remaining Strictly Come Dancing contestants could theoretically win the show, really it's a two-horse between a couple of dancers. Which two? Read the headline again, dummy. Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Louisa Lytton and Mark Ramprakash...
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