Twenty years after ignoring hecklerspray's repeated requests to become a Ghostbuster, Jimmy Saville has announced that he is to revive his tracksuit-bedecked masterwork Jim'll Fix It.

On the upcoming UKTV show Jim'll Fix It: Now And Then, the cigar-chomping old loon will continue unabated in his quest to make children's dreams come true. It's yet to be confirmed whether the remit of 'dreams' has extended since the show's 1980s heyday, when the choices were:

a) riding in a fire engine

b) meeting athletics superstar Daley Thompson

or c) getting daddy a new job after naughty Mrs Thatcher closed down the miney-wines.

You know what tomorrow is, don't you? Apart from a brief respite from the relentless drudgery of your working life of course, that goes without saying. Anyway, we're talking about tomorrow being Strictly Come Dancing day.

And tomorrow we're also going to lose one of the Strictly Come Dancing dancers. We have an idea who's probably going to be getting chucked off the show tomorrow, although Spoony getting the boot last Saturday has thrown our powers of deduction so out of whack that we're spending over three hours a day staring blankly at ourselves in a mirror slowly mouthing "who are you?" until our jaw locks up. Anyway, you're here for Strictly Come Dancing betting odds to win, aren't you?

Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Matt Dawson, Ray Fearon, Mark Ramprakash, Louisa Lytton and Emma Bunton...

It's hard to think of a time when Paul McCartney's reputation has been more in need of help. With recent claims that he frequently went into berserko stabbing frenzies all up and down Heather Mills' arm, Paul McCartney needs a friend.

And - what's this coming over the horizon? - it looks like a friend has arrived, albeit a friend with nasty dress sense and a haircut that looks like he's been exploded by a comedy bomb. It's Rod Stewart! And, of course, by 'friend' we mean 'man with an album to sell' since Rod Stewart has chosen now to discuss the divorce proceedings between Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. Rod Stewart is under the impression that Paul McCartney should fight Heather Mills in court. Perhaps not the best advice for an alleged wife-beater, but there you go.

Just like Marmite, this week’s Trawl is probably going to make you question some people’s interpretation of music. But then again this is what this feature is all about. Bringing you the weird, wonderful and the darker side of music is our aim. And this week we think we’ve achieved it. Say hello, dear heckler, to Cutting Pink With Knives. 

A quick test - sing the last Janet Jackson single? No? OK, hum the last Janet Jackson single? Not that either, huh. Right, can any of you even name the last Janet Jackson single, or at least come vaguely close to naming it?

Chances are you don't know that either - the last Janet Jackson single to be released around the world was called So Excited. And, no, we don't know how it goes because the British release date keeps getting pushed back. None of this sounds particularly healthy for Janet Jackson or her 20 Y.O album, does it? In fact, things are so generally unhealthy for Janet Jackson's album that her boyfriend Jermaine Dupri - president of Virgin Records' urban division - has just either quit (or been sacked from) his job. And if this doesn't mean that Janet Jackson is going to whack her boobies out again in the next week or so, nothing does.

Naomi Campbell seems to be building a reputation as the supermodel you don't wanna mess with because - if you do - there's a chance that Naomi Campbell will get all like "pow pow pow" and you'll be all like "urrgh my head."

And it doesn't look like Naomi Campbell's worries are easing up, either. Already Naomi Campbell is in trouble with the police for allegedly using her pretty little hands to throw a telephone at the back of a housekeeper's head, and in the last few hours Naomi Campbell has been arrested, questioned and bailed by the Metropolitan Police for some sort of assault, although Naomi Campbell's people are positive that the arrest was merely a "misunderstanding" since assault is so last season, and Campbell was really gunning for a GBH charge.

OK, we made that last bit up. Please, Naomi, not the face. Not the face!

When it comes to sheer unrelenting drama, Grey's Anatomy is where it's at. Not the TV show Grey's Anatomy, of course - that's duller than double maths on a rainy day - we're talking about the shenanigans on the Grey's Anatomy set.

In the last few weeks alone, the goings-on behind the scenes of Grey's Anatomy have vastly outstripped anything that has happened on-screen on Grey's Anatomy, or any other TV drama for that matter. The pinnacle of interestingness came when two Grey's Anatomy actors, Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey, butted heads like two randy stags and proceeded to roll around the floor destroying everything around them as they attempted to push their fists through each other's skull. Or something. Anyway, now Isaiah Washington has decided to apologise for his Grey's Anatomy actions that day. Like a big girl.

Not only is the world is not full of enough beautiful things, it's also not full of enough beautiful things with mostly unexplained acronyms for titles. SiL felt our pain and acted accordingly.