Article Archive for October 2006
hecklerspray has been working on a revised dictionary.
You see, in this ever-changin' world in which we live in, the meaning of words can change at such at an alarming rate that no-one can quite keep up with them. Take this one for example:
guestlist Pronunciation: (gest'list") —n.
Little did hecklerspray expect then - upon being
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If we were Snoop Dogg, we'd be seriously considering only travelling the world by car, hot air balloon and llama, because he sure as hell hasn't got the hang of airports yet - Snoop Dogg has got himself arrested at an airport again.
And you'll never guess why Snoop Dogg was arrested yesterday at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank, California; it's because police apparently found a gun and a load of marijuana in his possession. We know! How surprised are we that Snoop Dogg - the performer of songs like Downtown Assassins and Chronic Break - would ever a) own a firearm or b) know what marijuana looked like? You'll be telling us that Snoop Dogg has taken to refreshing himself with gin-based juice drinks next!
Anna Nicole Smith has the worst luck in the world. First off, she marries the love of her life only to have him die shortly thereafter because he was 903 years her senior, and was only alive due do scientific wires and gadgetry.
Then her son-in-law - whom she'd raised from age 47 or something - died just before a court house family reunion. Then, of course, she suffered the very real tragedy of her losing her young son in a very untimely manner. More recently she's been evicted from her Bahamian bungalow. When it rains it pours.
But for Anna Nicole Smith the rain is more of a monsoon, because now the Bahamian government is considering ripping Smith's legal status in the country out from under her.
Hey kids, remember Duran Duran? Sure you do - Duran Duran were famous for their awful suits and their dreadful Bond themes 20 years ago, then they got fat and stopped being famous and now one of them's left.
You heard right; guitarist Andy Taylor has left Duran Duran because of an "unworkable gulf" between him and the rest of the band. Quite why a band that only exists as a touring nostalgia machine except for when they're half-riding occasional microsecond-long misplaced fads for decades as shit as the 1980s like Duran Duran losing a guitarist is such big news is entirely beyond any notion of common sense as far as we're able to see. But anyway, in other news the bassist from Wang Chung is a bit sad because he lost his frisbee up a tree.
Are you getting sick of all this Madonna Malawi adoption stuff yet? Are you? Well, it might be over soon. Or it might not - it all depends on a Malawi court, which will soon decide just how naughty Madonna's adoption of David Banda was.
How soon? November 13 to be precise, after today's court case was adjourned. And then, following the Malawi court's decision on the case brought forward by various Human Rights groups, one of two things will happen. Firstly, if the judge decides that Madonna's adoption was illegal, there's a chance that David Banda will be whisked back to his illiterate father in Malawi where he'll be raised in poverty and will possibly die of pneumonia and starvation within a few years. On the other hand, if the Malawi judge allows Madonna's adoption to go ahead unchallenged, we'll all be subjected to even more constant interviews about what an effing saint Madonna is, thousands of magazine covershoots starring Madonna and David Banda and possibly a cash-in album called David Banda Sings The Hits Of Madonna While Riding A Golden Speedboat Across A Sea Of Melted Diamonds. Which one's worse? We really wish we could tell you.
This hasn't got anything to do with the game Jet Jumper, but how crap would it be if someone knitted you a Jet Jumper - a jumper with the members of Australian numbskull rockers Jet on it? Almost as crap as the Velvet Revolver hoodie we were given for Christmas, that's how crap.
Luckily, Jet Jumper the game is far far far better ...
Raise The Alarm by The Sunshine Underground, although it's only a few months old, isn't ageing well - some of its tracks are almost the dictionary definition of 'skippable'. Commercial Breakdown, however, is one of the few tracks strong enough for us not to write The Sunshine Underground off entirely.
Because, make no mistake, Commercial Breakdown by The Sunshine Underground is one
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Hey there!
You know, it's not all 'me, me, me' here at hecklerspray towers. Sure, we have our regular Disturbing Friday Fun section - which has so far introduced the world to Portuguese Ghost Ladies and People Who Want to Have Sex With Sonic The Hedgehog - but occasionally we like to perform a public service too.
That's why this week we're asking the following: do you identify with any of these pointers?
You would rather camp in the woods than be in a motel. You have no trouble finding your way in the wilds. You feel comfortable in the forest. You feel ill or upset when you see predatory animals killed for a single body part. You feel particularly ill when a certain animal is killed for above reasons You always enjoyed going to the zoo, but felt sorry for the animals. You recycle when you can. You try to be environmentally friendly. You have many pets or would like many pets You have shifted shape into an animal in your dreams wilfully
