Article Archive for October 2006
You know Dirty Pretty Things? They're made of the members of The Libertines that aren't the lanky skeleton who gets supermodels pregnant for a living, and they're also fond of the Make Roads Safe campaign.The story goes that Dirty Pretty Things got involved with Make Roads Safe after one of their fans was killed in a car crash, and Roadie Runner is ...
hecklerspray likes logic. And logic says that musical vanity projects by Hollywood stars should always be terrible terrible sacks of crap that only deserve ridicule. So why the hell are we falling for Juliette And The Licks so hard?
Personally we blame Hot Kiss. The first single from the Juliette And The Licks Four On The Floor was a brain-frying
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Monday is here again.
You know what that means? Well, apart from sitting there weeping at your desk as you realise that your future lies in mid-level accountancy (and not professional flamenco dancing)? Monday means that its time for hecklerspray's Celebrity Haiku Competition. And, that, friends - if nothing else - is surely reason enough for living.
Surely.
This week we're looking at that moon-faced chap from dullrock non-band Keane, who got called a crackhead live on stage the other day. But first let's take a look at last week's winner.
As we all sadly know, the great self-proclaimed crocodile hunter Steve Irwin died a month or so ago in what can only be described as the most unlikely way of dying. We salute Mr Irwin. While he was out there in the outback fighting danger face-to-face, here at hecklerspray, we often panicked like girl when a wasp flew in the window and started buzzing at us angrily. We often wished Steve Irwin was there to wrestle it to the ground and save us.
For a bloke who came face to face with some of the most poisonous snakes and bad-ass spiders and alligators that rip your guts out in seconds, you’d have thought that Steve Irwin would at least get killed off by something a bit harder then a stingray. But alas, we all have to get to the pearly gates one day. But Steve Irwin has returned! In animated form! With a cartoon stingray hanging out of his chest!
There's nothing we like better than the annual 'X Factor big band show' or - as it's more commonly known - the annual 'X Factor shits on a bunch of songs you used to like show', and it didn't go well for Dionne or Kerry.
Thanks to the big surprise double X Factor elimination that was actually only really a surprise to people who don't read newspapers or listen to stuff people tell them, both Dionne and Kerry got the shove on Saturday. Dionne for singing You Are The Sunshine Of My Life in the style of someone running up a hill (but still managed to sing it better than Tony Bennett did later on in the show) and Kerry for responding to Simon Cowell's constant calls for her to take a risk by taking the biggest risk of all - singing her song in exactly the same boring-arse way that she'd ever sung every other song during her time on X Factor.
But now that Dionne and Kerry have been eliminated from X Factor, who'll win? Here are the X Factor betting odds for The MacDonald Brothers, Robert Allen and Nikitta Angus...
It’s not ‘expresso’ by the way, it’s espresso.
Folded:
The Sopranos, series 6 on E4 (less crying by Tony, less meandering chats to the lady out of Goodfellas; more interesting stories about shell-suited geriatric gangsters) Paulo Nutini’s follow up being better than James Morrison’s (no, they’re not the same, and, no, neither artist floats our boat to any significant degree. That said Nutini’s much ...
Chances are that if you head down to HMV and browse through the 'Compilations' section you'll be battered about the head with a £3.99 12CD Ibiza Anthems box set or brain-numbing twaddle like Housework Music. Housework Music. For fuck's sake.
Compilation albums shouldn't be like that. Instead of forcing you to wear out the 'skip' button on your CD player, they should pick you up and slap you in the mouth over and over again with songs you've never heard but can't imagine being without after hearing them for the first time. Gareth 'Cherrystones' Goddard is well aware of this, and his new Cherrystones Word compilation does exactly that. As far as getting your lost psych garage proto-punk kicks go, Cherrystones Word is hands down the best compilation album released this year.
Nobody really knows why Nicole Richie is so ferociously skinny. We think it might have something to do with the way that pushing one piece of rice around a plate for two hours burns more calories than the rice actually contains, but we can't be certain.
Neither can Nicole Richie, and this perturbs her. Nicole Richie is tired of being known as the skinny sidekick to the slurring pornstar in The Simple Life, and wants to become the slightly portly sidekick to the slurring pornstar in The Simple Life. In short, Nicole Richie is going to go through extensive professional treatment for her inability to put on weight. Details on the exact nature of Nicole Richie's treatment are scarce, but the treatment may or may not involve Nicole Richie eating some fucking food for once in her pissing life.
