The way we’ve been compulsively banging on about it, you’d think that X Factor was the only Saturday teatime reality TV talent show on at the moment, but you’d be wrong: there’s also Strictly Come Dancing.

To put things simply, there are two types of people in Britain: the type that likes the cynically slick whizz-bang professionalism of X Factor and the type that prefers the more sedate sight of a bunch of semi-celebrities waltzing and cha-cha-chaing on a TV show presented by the world’s most confused old man. And these Strictly Come Dancing betting odds are for the latter – from now until the new series of Strictly Come Dancing kicks off, we’ll be looking at the starting odds of each of the prospective twirlers. And we’re starting from the bottom up, so this lot are bound to be shit.

Here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Peter Schmeichel, Mica Paris and Nicholas Owen…