Article Archive for October 2006
hecklerspray has recently achieved a level of celebrity previously unparallelled by anything but the sun and stars themselves. Case in point - the other day we were going to the corner store when a paparazzi cleverly disguised as an 85-year-old Japanese tourist approached us with a disposable camera.
We weren't having it. After a very lengthy struggle we managed to throttle the lady's leg a little bit with her own camera strap, and to rub our inner-elbow all over her shrieks and tears. This was all followed by a quick rest on a bench, and an agreement to finally take a picture of her and her five generations of descendants she'd brought with her on her horrible celebrity-stalking vacation - why can't they just leave us alone?! Not yet though. Nobody leave us alone yet. But that's the price you pay though, you know, for incredible fame. The kind we achieved about a week ago.
Fame's not all down-sides though. You get to beat people up with little to no serious consequence. That's pretty nice right? R Kelly is reported to have taken advantage of that not too long ago, and right in some guy's face no less.
If you are the kind of person that likes to bludgeon things in the face, perhaps celebrity status is worth a looksy.
The new series of Strictly Come Dancing starts tomorrow night, and we haven't been this excited since the last time we saw a bunch of people we didn't really recognise dancing around on the telly. Over the last week we've been looking at the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for all the contestants except two - and that's what we've come here today to do. In many ways, these two Strictly Come Dancing hopefuls are the Zoe Ball and Colin Jackson of this year's Strictly Come Dancing, only with less running and sleeping with DJs and more acting and having failed solo careers. Have you placed a Strictly Come Dancing bet yet? You really should, you know, and there's a link after the jump. So here are the Strictly Come Dancing betting odds for Louisa Lytton and Emma Bunton, with help from PaddyPower...
Being in love does funny things to people, not least to Tori Spelling. Her marriage to Man Nobody Knows Dean McDermott has boosted Tori Spelling from being a mega mega micro nano-celebrity to a certified regular nano-celebrity.
Despite doing nothing with her life except for having the world's richest nepotist for a Dad, Tori Spelling has somehow elbowed her way into the news again, this time for getting pregnant. We're not sure about you, but we're deeply envious of Tori Spelling's unborn foetus since the lucky swine is entirely made up of genetic material from the shit one out of Beverly Hills 90210 and some bloke who was once in a Def Leppard biopic five years ago.
Brace yourselves for another batch of invites to all kinds of pity parties - Vince Vaughn has apparently broken up with Jennifer Aniston - and it's a real break-up too, not a break-up in a godawful movie they both star in.
According to reports, Vince Vaughn decided to break-up with Jennifer Aniston at the start of last month when he came to England to film a Father Christmas movie. The reasons for the Vince Vaughn/ Jennifer Aniston break-up aren't clear at the moment, but it's either to do with Vince Vaughn getting tired of the media attention, Vince Vaughn getting sick of Jennifer Aniston's controlling ways or the fact that it was an entirely invented relationship that only lasted as long as Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston needed to promote that awful Break-Up film. We haven't worked out which one it was yet.
Because we’re so generous, we’ve decided to give you another first this week on our spankingly good MySpace Trawl. Last week we covered an artist whose didn't even make their MySpace page. It was all done by someone who we presume was locked up in their bedroom till the wee hours of the morning trying to convert you to their favourite band.
Whilst they did a good job doing so, all they needed to do was really let the people hear the music. This week we rattled our brains to better last week and this is what we've come up with - it's Dungen and their decidedly non-English Swedish psychedelic freakouts. After all, 0.2% of our readership comes from Sweden. 0.2%, this is for you.
Ireland Baldwin is a lucky girl. Not only does she have rich moviestar parents like Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin but the two of them are happy to make themselves look like utter arseholes in their custody fight for her.
The latest twist in the seemingly endless Alec Baldwin/ Kim Basinger custody battle took place yesterday, when Kim Basinger pleaded not guilty to 12 charges of violating child custody orders in a trial that could see her ending up in jail for 60 days. Like we said, we're so jealous of Ireland Baldwin right now it's not even funny - she gets to see all this custody malarkey and see her own parents have sex in The Getaway. She's got it all, the lucky cow.
We're not sure how much Jim Carrey knows about karma, but we suspect that karma might be the reason Jim Carrey hasn't been able to make a film lately - after all, he's due some kind of punishment for Fun With Dick And Jane.
In recent months, two movies that Jim Carrey has been attached to have sputtered to an end without actually getting made. And Jim Carrey is nothing if not consistent; reports are suggesting that he's walked away from another one - A Little Game Without Consequence, which he was to have co-starred with Cameron Diaz - because he didn't like the script changes that were being made. Presumably that means the film only featured 43 solid minutes of tedious gurning when Jim Carrey was pushing for the full mind-numbing hour.
Whatever crazy crap Eva Longoria gets up to on Desperate Housewives, you can bet that it won't be half as interesting as whatever goes on in Eva Longoria's real life.
Remember when it was being widely reported that Eva Longoria had split up with her boyfriend Tony Parker? Remember? Oh come on, it only happened a couple of days ago, remember? Well, anyway, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were supposed to have split up earlier in the week. But - get this - they didn't! Crazy, huh?
