Article Archive for December 2005
Those of you eager to see Boy George holding court in the Celebrity Big Brother house can get a little bit excited - the Boy George cocaine court case has been postponed until February.
What was the reason that Boy George's court case has been pushed back? So he could "work on literary and recording projects in England". Is Celebrity Big Brother literary? Not really. But some of it is recorded. Kind of.
Long has the Nielsen ratings box wickedly dominated television's every season lineup. For decades now it's mercilessly hacked fledgling TV shows to blood riddled bits for no reason what-so-ever. Except that they were under performing. King Nielsen's evil reign may have it's end in sight.
Or have it's evil reign joined by digital video recorders (DVR), depending on how you see it.
Rolf Harris, the elderly Australian entertainer with the catchphrase "WHY? Why did it have to DIE?" more famous for making funny noises by slapping his face, has painted the Queen.
Rolf Harris didn't actually paint the Queen - he didn't go and rub a sloppy roller all over her stern monarch face. Rolf painted a portrait of the Queen. And he's even made her smile - something which hasn't happened since the time in 1971 when she saw her Corgi bite a poor person on the testicles.
Some snappers do harmless things like hiding in a bush a mile away from Jennifer Aniston's house and taking pictures of her boobies. But some snappers are a bit more nasty.
Like the photographer who tried to take a picture of Reese Witherspoon at Disney's California Adventure in September, but ended up allegedly punching a five-year-old girl in the face with a camera instead. Now a court has issued a warrant for the photographer's arrest.
Picture in your mind what Britney Spears and Kevin Federline look like when they are having sex. Britney's doing that hip-thrust thing, maybe Kevin has especially composed an erotic rap. All very sexy.
Or not. Earlier in the year, US Weekly magazine published a story about a leaked Britney Spears sex tape which was so staggeringly unsexy that Britney's lawyers were "torn between laughter and disgust," when they saw it. Now Britney Spears says that no such hilarious and disgusting sex tape even exists. And to prove it, Britney is going to sue US Weekly for $10 million.
Christmas is a time for giving, a time for receiving, a time to appreciate your family and friends. It's also a time for getting so drunk that you can't see and then puking turkey and chocolate all over the inside of your boyfriend's car. And that's the basis of today's festive game - Huntforit Smashed.
In Huntforit Smashed, you play that most festive of
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hecklerspray shudders to think what Channel Four have got lined up in the schedules for next year. More crucifyingly awful Hollyoaks late-night 'specials'? Jimmy Carr presents the Top Ten Bestest Ever Most Special Things In The Universe Times Infinity ('Number Ten: Cheese! Number Nine: Glass! Number Eight: The Eurythmics!')? And - of course - another series of Big Brother. Something which might not please regulatory board Ofcom and the thousands of people who complained about the last series. Apparently the whole Big Brother spazmo-circus was deemed to be "operating at the limits of acceptability."
You know as well as we do that Celebrity Big Brother starts next month. And you're probably as excited as we are at the prospect at watching a bunch of has-beens having full-on breakdowns on live TV.
Or are you? What are your opinions on Celebrity Big Brother? Do you vote on Celebrity Big Brother? Who do you want to win Celebrity Big Brother?
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