From the monthly archives:

December 2005

Celebrity Big Brother Speculatobot – Boy George In CBB?

by 586 MEDIA

Not content with forcing absolute nobodies onto a poor unsuspecting British public all summer, Celebrity Big Brother is back in January, reportedly with a new secret weapon – Boy George. Next year’s potential Celebrity Big Brother line-up has already been compared to the strange and unusual lot from last time, although no-one could be quite [...]

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Christmas Number One Betting Odds – James Blunt, Jordan, Paul McCartney

by Stuart Heritage

It’s time for a blast through another five contenders for the UK 2005 Christmas Number One Spot – a careful weighing up before we realise that, yes, the X Factor winner’s probably got it in the bag. Christmas Number One Fact Of The Day: The first ever formally recognised Christmas Number One single was Here [...]

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X Factor Final Betting Odds – Andy’s Odds

by Stuart Heritage

***Early next year, the X Factor contestants – even Andy – are going on tour! Check out the tour dates and buy tickets here*** On Saturday, the X Factor final takes place. As things stand, it’s a three horse race to see who can win X Factor, hastily record a bland single and then disappear [...]

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Princess Diana Wanted To Slam Bam The Wham Man?

by Shawn Lindseth

Weeks after vowing some sort of retirement, alleged beach bathroom hanger-outer George Michael shoots to the top headlines again with claims that Princess Diana wanted to do the horizontal hokey pokey… with him, a gay guy. Here’s a quick quote: "She was very like a lot of women who’ve been attracted to me because they [...]

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Newsblam: Chris Evans’ Tiny Willy, Sienna’s Orange Face, Crazy Frog’s Bad Single…

by 586 MEDIA

…It’s official – Chris Evans has a small schlong. In a recent interview, Chris said, "The Ginger Prince comes in a poor third." Billie would probably agree. The claim was made by Evans after a visit to his mother in hospital. While wandering the corridors, probably in search new guests for his show, he stumbled [...]

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Lulu Back To Pester Take That Like It’s 1993

by 586 MEDIA

She’s small. She’s Scottish. And she’s coming soon to an enormodrome near you. That’s right, Lulu has joined Take That’s ‘Keep Howard In Designer Beanies For Another Decade Tour 2006’. Lulu told the Daily Record that “the band must have thought ‘we need that old bag Lulu on tour,’” and that she’d accepted their offer [...]

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Joss Stone Is The Best Celebrity Dog Owner In The Whole Wide World

by Stuart Heritage

It’s been a weird week – there have been giant petrol explosions, earthquakes, executions, Australian race riots. But we know what you really want to know – just who is the best celebrity dog owner? Well, worry no longer – it’s been revealed that wailing westcountry hippy Joss Stone has been named the best celebrity [...]

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Divorce Kevin, Website Orders Britney Spears

by Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline don’t have the most conventional marriage in the world. Britney is a globe straddling pop princess, and Kevin is a terrible terrible wannabe rapper, for a start. Then there’s the noted child-rearing ability of Kevin Federline, which appears to include getting a girl , freaking out and legging it. But [...]

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Angelina Jolie: A Lesbian, Not A Housewife

by Stuart Heritage

You know Angelina Jolie? Angelina Jolie the all-adopting friendly face of the UN with a slightly disappointing movie sideline? Turns out that Angelina Jolie is also a flipping lesbian as well. A Sky One documentary – Angelina – Saint Or Sinner? – was broadcast last night, and the show claimed that as well as having [...]

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Miami Vice Puts Colin Farrell In Rehab

by Stuart Heritage

Colin Farrell has it easy. If we’re feeling exhausted, we have to make do with a crappy footspa and a secondhand copy of George Benson’s Greatest Hits. But Colin Farrell just checks into rehab. Although, to be fair, Colin Farrell hasn’t just gone to rehab for exhaustion. Colin Farrell has gone into rehab for exhaustion [...]

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