The Ring was one of the scariest films ever made. It changed the way that people looked at telephones and televisions. And also made us sleep with the lights on for six months.

For those that haven't seen it, it's about a video. When the viewer watches it, they get a mysterious phone call that informs them that they only have seven days left

Rejoice! The X Factor is back on ITV to complete your Saturday nights in (and conveniently mask the sound of your burbling tears).

Of course, give it five or six weeks - the point where they start paying serious attention to the 'professional' contestants - and it'll be shit again. But until then we have the undiluted joy of watching a bunch of deluded people fail! Yay!

Things got off to a cracking, Cowell-sneering start this week. The horrors included:

- A man who thought he'd captured the ghost of John Lennon,

- A schmaltzy nightclub ballad couple who refused to leave and picked a fight with the bouncers,

- A fat curly-haired girl whose family actually got on their knees and begged the judges,

- And a man who managed to make Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl sound even worse than the original.

A pretty impressive line-up. Of course, people have pointed out that the format of The X-Factor is remarkably similar to previous ITV pleb-beacon Pop Idol. Which brings us nicely to our story ...

... the good people of Iraq are to get their very own Pop Idol too.

***LATEST MTV MUSIC VIDEO AWARD ODDS! CLICK HERE***

This weekend, the MTV Music Video Awards will take place in Miami. For some people, it's a chance to gauge the popularity of different artists and attempt to understand the cultural relevance of music videos in the age of music downloads.

For us, however, it's a chance to get filthy stinking rich by betting on the winners.

Today we'll be looking at the nominees in the Best New Artist category. Who do MTV think has made the biggest splash with their debut album or singles this year? Judging by the majority of the shortlist, it looks as if MTV have used their foolproof "who's got the best haircut?" criteria. But who are we to judge?

Here, brought to you by hecklerspray and Betfair.com, are the latest odds for the MTV MVA Best New Artist nominees...

Bad like Michael Jackson (that’s Creased) or Good little Little Richard (that’s Folded). Only we can decide…

Folded:

The Island – out now (panned, but we think it’s worth a shot)

Vote for The Persuaders! cars (you can decide what motors the kipper-tied heroes drive in the new movie)

The new Jaws re-release (DVDs) (a two hour making of?! We’re there)

Goldfrapp (CDs) (everything

Yesterday you may have read a spiffy little Q&A with Mother And The Addicts - a discourse which included the soon-to-be-legendary chat-up line, "darling, you're really

The debut album by Mother And The Addicts, entitled Take The Lovers Home Tonight, is released on Monday 22nd August. And in the 40 minutes it will take you to listen to the CD, they may just become your new favourite British band...

This car might be rubbish (and it is, definitely), but it’s also indestructible. The Nissan Micra ‘K-10’ is tougher than Steven Seagal’s bathroom scales.

The Lowdown:

The 54 bhp K-10 Micra – produced between 1983 and 1992 – is square like Eugene and annoying like Anthony (t-minus two weeks for the Big Brother references). To say the K-10 lacks curves would be daft. Of course it lacks curves, you can see that by the photo. It’s designed to be functional, not separate sensible ladies from their BHS camisoles. During nine years in production the K-10 did eventually become outdated by its contemporaries (Ford mainly), but it would never, ever, come rain, sleet or shine, let you down. Can’t say that about a Fiesta, can you?

Proudly, we do speak Micra. As does David Lynch, that’s why he’s directed Nissan’s latest TV commercial. It’s rubbish, as you might have guessed. That’s right buddy, Fire Walk With Me (DVDs) doesn't go away without a fight.

***LATEST MERCURY MUSIC PRIZE ODDS! CLICK HERE***

The winner of the 2005 Mercury Music Prize will be announced on September 6th this year, and discerning music fans up and down the country are all betting on the winner.

According to the odds, there's one very clear favourite to win the prize this year. The Kaiser Chiefs are running away with the popular vote. But - as we keep pointing out - the popular vote means squat to the Mercury Music Prize judges. They're a contrary lot, and they've been known to cause a few upsets in the past.

This is a good thing. The Kaisers are in front by so much that all the other artists have got much longer odds. So if the Kaisers don't win, some people will be getting quite a bit richer. It's a risk, but it's one worth talking.

So here are the Mercury Music Prize odds this week from hecklerspray and Betfair.com...

When most bands embark on world tours, they tend to involve months of endless waiting on buses and planes, eating bad motorway cafe food and occasionally playing music in tiny American towns where nobody even knows who they're watching.

But Gorillaz aren't most bands. They don't even exist. So instead of a conventional world tour, Gorillaz have announced plans to tour the world of Habbo Hotel.