A classic if there ever was one, this autobiographical tale on the transition from silent movies to talkies is notable for two things: Donald O’ Connor running up the wall (which, even by today’s standards, is very, very impressive) and the infamous Gene Kelly performing the title song in the rain with a 103 degree fever. The pansy. Just imagine what he could have accomplished if he’d stayed in bed for a few days.

Now, because of his selfishness, we have to make do with this second-rate dance number. Pathetic. Anyway, here are the 10 things we can learn from Singin' In The Rain…

Yesterday we observed that old people are allowed to be as mean as they like to youngsters. They've earned their right to slag their juniors off. Sir Sean Connery already knows this - most Hollywood producers are "idiots" according to him.

Not wanting to be outdone, notoriously forthright screen legend Lauren Bacall has got in on the act, calling the behaviour of Tom Cruise "vulgar".

We've all been there. You're innocently playing around on the internet when - whoops - you accidentally buy a car belonging to Elvis Presley.

Jason Shepherd from New York knows all about this. He's won an eBay auction for an old Elvis car. But he says it's a mistake, and now he won't pay the $245,000.

On Thursday, England will try to be a bit less pathetic in the second Ashes test against Australia.

One man who has never given up on England is WG Grace, the screaming beardy man on Channel Four that yells "bring it on" all the time.

Now he has his own game. You must smash an iron ball as far as you can with your cricket

Eva Longoria, star of Desperate Housewives and practically nothing else, has apologised to Jennifer Aniston for wearing a t-shirt that could, would and probably did upset her.

The T-shirt in question - we believe is 100% cotton with a crew neck - had the print 'I'll have your baby, Brad' embalzoned on the front. We have no idea of the colour.

Eva wore the devil's own garment while out shopping. She got papped, and now she’s sorry.

"I do regret wearing it" Eva pleaded.

"I have written to Jennifer Aniston to express my sympathies over her marriage."

***LATEST BIG BROTHER ODDS! CLICK HERE***

Later on today, Big Brother will announce the latest housemates who face eviction. It's just a shame they're not all going to be evicted immediately.

Maybe it's us, but the remaining Big Brother housemates make us want to break our televisions into pieces with our heads. Not a single one of them has anything even vaguely resembling a redeeming feature. It's like standing outside the chimp cage at the zoo. And at least if you taunt chimps enough, they'll inevitably fling handfuls of their own poo at you. The Big Brother lot don't even do anything as entertaining as that.

So why are we still watching it? Because there's money to be made. There are still six housemates that we can still bet on. And if you play your cards right, they can still make you rich.

So who will be evicted on Friday? Here are the latest 10th eviction odds, from hecklerspray and Betfair.com...

Summer's over.

It seems like Hollywood has shot its wad a little early this year. The summer blockbuster season started in May with the release of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith, and almost every week since then has seen a huge explosion-filled enormo-flick come out to a roar of hype.

Now it seems that Hollywood has run out of steam. Last week's big new release was The Island, but that's already been deemed a flop. And this week's big new film, Stealth, has flopped as well.

The kids have only just been let out of school for the summer, and what's left for them to go and see? The Devil's Rejects?

Ladies and Gentlemen. May we present The Ghost Who Walks. 

The Ghost Who Walks is actually the psuedonym of Daily Telegraph music critic Neil McCormick. Bestest mate to the likes of Bono and Sting, The Ghost is famed for relentlessly using his position as a journalist to shamelessly plug his own work.

Action which would be slightly less reprehensible were his music not such a puddle of steaming cack. Coming over like David Gray meets James Blunt meets any other tedious 'singer-songwriter' you can think of, The Ghost has wheeled out such classics as I Found God, a song which... well, no. Let's let him describe it.