From the monthly archives:

August 2005

U2 Torment Astronauts

by C J Davies

The space-faring life can’t be an easy one. Bobbing around in zero-gravity, dodging meteorites and having to ask the others to look away when you need a piss. It must be a stressful old experience orbiting the Earth. Which is why NASA’s latest manoeuvre seems like an especially sadistic move. Oh, yes – they’ve only [...]

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Michael Jackson Guilty? Jurors Plan Books

by Stuart Heritage

According to his website, it was a day that ranked alongside the birth of Martin Luther King, the fall of the Berlin Wall and Nelson Mandela’s release. According to us, it was a day when a weird woman kept taking birds out of a box outside a courtroom. We’re talking, of course, about the day [...]

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Mecury Music Prize – The Odds This Week

by Stuart Heritage

Just over a month to go until the winner of the 2005 Mercury Music Prize is revealed. Hip cats the length and breadth of the country are already placing bets willy-nilly, hoping they’ve backed the winner. According to the odds, The Kaiser Chiefs are still firm favourites. But what do the odds prove? The Mercury [...]

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SLACKERJACK – Waterslide Slalom

by 586 MEDIA

Summer’s here, and that only means one thing: wasp stings, sunburn and a series of empty, disappointingly soul-crushing relationships with people who were only put on the face of the earth to break your fragile heart. And, um, waterslides. You know Starburst, the sweets that used to be called Opal Fruits but aren’t any more? [...]

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Elton John: “Live 8 Was An Anti-Climax”

by Stuart Heritage

It must be strange being Elton John. On the one hand he’s rock royalty, playing to hundreds of thousands people a year. He writes best-selling musicals. He’s the kind old Godfather who looks after his troubled counterparts. He sang at the funeral of a dead princess. But on the other hand he’s a short, old, [...]

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Big Brother Eviction Latest Odds – Derek Evicted Tonight?

by Stuart Heritage

***LATEST BIG BROTHER ODDS! CLICK HERE*** Tonight either Derek or Eugene will leave the Big Brother house. Their eviction will effectively end one of the most freakishly disturbing weeks ever seen on British television. Since Monday, we’ve seen all kinds of Big Brother weirdness happen. Craig is turning more into the Kathy Bates character from [...]

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Desperate Teri Hatcher to Write Self-Help Book

by Stuart Heritage

Being famous must be great. You get to pretend to be an expert about anything you like and people listen. Kinda like this job, except we don’t have as many adoring fans (potential adoring fans – get in touch, we’d love to hear from you). Teri Hatcher has only done five things in her entire [...]

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Daredevil 2: Almost Greenlit

by Chris Laverty

No need to pad this story with half-arsed conjecture. Instead here’s five facts to tell all about the almost-greenlit Daredevil 2: 1.  Ben Affleck (DVDs) and Jennifer Garner (DVDs) both featured in the original Daredevil movie in 2003. 2.  They got married last month, to each other. 3.  They want to work together on a [...]

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hecklerspray Heroes – Top Cat

by Stuart Heritage

It’s easy to be the flavour of the month, but it’s much harder to be timeless. Look at Tiffany and then look at Madonna. Tiffany has been reduced to hawking her one famous song around slack-jawed nostalgo-fests like Hit Me Baby One More Time, while Madonna is still going strong, making films as bad as [...]

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Sony Pays Out After Fake Critic Weirdness

by Stuart Heritage

Have you ever seen a poster for a rubbish movie and wondered where the fawning press quotes came from? "That most certainly wasn’t ‘A Rip-Roaring Rollercoaster Ride Of Thrills And Spills,’" you inevitably think as the credits go up, "That was a lot of wank". Who actually watches these dreadful films and thinks that they’re [...]

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