We don't hate everything here at hecklerspray HQ, you know. Why, only the other day, one of our writers had a can of Lucozade which he referred to as "quite refreshing in an alright sort of way." See? There's love to be had. You just need to deserve it.

Ladytron (CDs), we're pleased to report, most definitely do. Those of us who've been following the cheeky electropop scousers since their early days had been getting a bit worried of late: it had been almost three years since their last album - the sublime Light And Magic - and it was looking like they weren't coming back.

It's time for another Game That Time Forgot - a fond look back at a game that should have conquered the world, but didn't. Today, it's the turn of Vib Ribbon.

Vib Ribbon, released in 2000 for the PlayStation, polarised the video gaming population in a fingerclick. It simply didn't bear any relationship to reality whatsoever. People either loved it or hated it. Naturally, hecklerspray loved it.

The heart of Vib Ribbon was a simple one. Press different buttons to jump over different obstacles. Easy. Except the game was wrapped in thirty thousand levels of weirdness to put you off.

Rich obsessive fans of Marlon Brando are advised to get to New York right away, because there's a once in a lifetime chance to buy some of his personal things.

More than 300 possessions belonging to Marlon Brando are up for auction at Christie's in New York.

Abi Titmuss - a gift of a name if ever there was one - has had a book published. We quote: "The UK's hottest sex symbol has written a book that will be on everyone's lips".

The publishers claim that the Abi Titmuss book, entitled Ten Fantasies, will be a "full and empowering read".

When people look back at the movies of 2005, they'll notice that cinema takings were in the middle of a big slump, and that publicity for the films went a bit crazy. That's why an American cinema chain is saying that if you go to see the new Russell Crowe movie, Cinderella Man, and don't love it, they'll give you an on-the-spot refund.

AMC Entertainment, America's number two cinema chain are hoping to give a boost to the critically acclaimed but commercially disappointing Cinderella Man by giving customers their money back if they don't love the film.

It had to happen. People were only going to take so much. There's overexposure and then there's over-over-overexposure - a crime that few have recently been more guilty of than Mr. Tom Cruise (DVDs).

His antics have to be - without doubt - the biggest and most ludicrous marketing push ever embarked on by a human being (and that includes balloon-riding beardy-man Richard Branson).

Cynical photo-op 'relationship' with not-too-bright dolly bird? Check. Grating talk show appearances at every available opportunity? Check. A million media outlets following his every move? Ahem... check.

Group of disgruntled web-people launching a petition to boycott War Of The Worlds? Check.

The Osbournes really do have a lot to answer for. Apart from making car-crash supermarket commercials and having twice-failed pop careers, they've let other celebrities think that they too deserve a reality TV show. Just like Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston.

Being Bobby Brown is the new reality TV show on Bravo, and it provides the viewer with answer to the question "Like, what's up with Whitney Houston?"

It's a rite of passage when you're young. There are things you want, but you can't have them because you're just not old enough. Fags, booze, knives - they're all slightly out of your grasp.

So what do you do? You go into a pub or a newsagents and try to trick whoever works there by putting on a deep voice and talking about