hecklerspray has a dilemma for you.

Imagine you're sat on the bus, pleasantly minding your own business. Two mobile phones go off nearby. One ringtone is the polyphonic version of Coldplay's (CDs) new single Speed Of Sound. The other is the wailing scream of a thousand abortions 'bimbimbim' madness of the Crazy Frog.

You only have one bullet. Which mobile owner do you elect to shoot through their mewling skull?

Probably the Frog bloke, isn't it?

Sylvester Stallone (DVDs), 59 years young, rippling like a thread vein and with the complexion of a boiled sweet. The man who would be Rambo is ready to take on the might of The Raven.

Horror scribe and critic Edgar Allen Poe (DVDs), arguably one of the most gifted writers ever to have slapped thought to paper, is reputedly having his life story transferred to the big screen.

Rather brilliantly Robert Downey Jr. (DVDs) has been pencilled in for the title role while Stallone is all set to direct from his own screenplay.

Celebrity Love Island is the latest ITV no audience programme with the word 'Celebrity' in the title. Less than two million people now watch the reality TV show. Maybe ITV will learn that there is no audience for shows with the word 'Celebrity'. Having said that, we're still holding out for Celebrity Wasp Nest Stingathon, where a celebrity hides in a big wasps nest, and earns £1 each time they get stung, or £2 if it's internal.

But the celebrities are still on the love island, and two of them have to win. But which two? hecklerspray and betfair.com present the updated odds list for your special betting needs.

All kinds of stars are lending a hand to the RNLI and their 'Save Our Soles' campaign.

Nell McAndrew (DVDs) and Jennifer Ellison (DVDs) have dressed up as iconic filmstars for the charity campaign, by wearing stinking trainers instead of classy high-heels.

They're wearing trainers to promote the 'Save Our Soles' campaign. The RNLI want to raise money for some more

As is the tradition with all Hollywood fare these days, if you have a sure-fire smash on your hands, the sequel will follow. Normally, though, these normally occur when the studio has a sure-fire, guaranteed money-making smash on their hands.

However, studios these days seem to have developed a touch of chest hair, taking chances even on as-yet unreleased flick. The latest of these is Frank Miller’s Sin City - the film has barely received its UK premiere, but director Robert Rodriguez (DVDs) has already confirmed that not only is a sequel on the cards, he has already started work on it.

Tom Cruise (DVDs) has declared his total love for Katie Holmes (DVDs) in a very bonkers way on the Oprah Winfrey show. He's so excited about the relationship that he could only show his feelings properly by jumping on the sofa and punching the ground, like people do on commercials when they've been given a good insurance quote.

He dropped hints that he'd propose, saying he'd never felt love like this, much to the audience's delight.

Did we mention they both have films coming out soon?

***Big Brother Odds Coming Soon***

There's only 77 hours to go until the new series of Big Brother starts, and hecklerspray is continuing its countdown, like a man standing outside a locked toilet, counting down until he wees all over the inside of his new suit.

Yesterday we revealed that there's going to be beer on tap and glass walls in the Big Brother house, an equation to which the only logical outcome is pink pancakes. But we'll see if that's true.

What else do you think we have we learnt in the last few hours...?

Aaah. Fearne Cotton. hecklerspray has to admit for once having a soft spot for the lovely young Top-Of-The-Pops-presenting madam, utterly enraptured by her smiley beamy face and big Bambi-on-Ecstasy eyes and such. Lovely pretty cute little Fearne, we thought...

Until we read about what an absolute nutter she is.