From the monthly archives:

May 2005

The Sopranos: How It All Ends

by C J Davies

The final season of Dickension mafia masterpiece The Sopranos (DVDs) will be a cacophony of "money and materialism," which – according to Tony-creating head honcho David Chase – is "all they (the characters) care about". With a two-year delay between seasons – virtually unheard of in the sitcom-spewing land of the free – it has [...]

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Big Brother Countdown – 53 Hours To Go

by Stuart Heritage

***Big Brother Odds Coming Soon*** Just over 50 hours left until Channel 4 unveil Big Brother 6, and we’re still doing a countdown. A countdown like the teatime gameshow Countdown, only without Carol Vorderman dressed up like a prostitute in a working man’s club. Yesterday, we learnt that the outside of the Big Brother house [...]

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Coldplay Beaten By A Crazy Frog?

by C J Davies

hecklerspray has a dilemma for you. Imagine you’re sat on the bus, pleasantly minding your own business. Two mobile phones go off nearby. One ringtone is the polyphonic version of Coldplay’s (CDs) new single Speed Of Sound. The other is the wailing scream of a thousand abortions ‘bimbimbim’ madness of the Crazy Frog. You only [...]

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Stallone Takes on Edgar Allen Poe

by Chris Laverty

Sylvester Stallone (DVDs), 59 years young, rippling like a thread vein and with the complexion of a boiled sweet. The man who would be Rambo is ready to take on the might of The Raven. Horror scribe and critic Edgar Allen Poe (DVDs), arguably one of the most gifted writers ever to have slapped thought [...]

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Celebrity Love Island Odds – No Audience Update

by Stuart Heritage

Celebrity Love Island is the latest ITV no audience programme with the word ‘Celebrity’ in the title. Less than two million people now watch the reality TV show. Maybe ITV will learn that there is no audience for shows with the word ‘Celebrity’. Having said that, we’re still holding out for Celebrity Wasp Nest Stingathon, [...]

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Stars Wear Trainers For Charity

by Stuart Heritage

All kinds of stars are lending a hand to the RNLI and their ‘Save Our Soles’ campaign. Nell McAndrew (DVDs) and Jennifer Ellison (DVDs) have dressed up as iconic filmstars for the charity campaign, by wearing stinking trainers instead of classy high-heels. They’re wearing trainers to promote the ‘Save Our Soles’ campaign. The RNLI want [...]

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Sin City Sequel Confirmed

by 586 MEDIA

As is the tradition with all Hollywood fare these days, if you have a sure-fire smash on your hands, the sequel will follow. Normally, though, these normally occur when the studio has a sure-fire, guaranteed money-making smash on their hands. However, studios these days seem to have developed a touch of chest hair, taking chances [...]

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Tom Cruise On Oprah – He Loves Publicity

by Stuart Heritage

Tom Cruise (DVDs) has declared his total love for Katie Holmes (DVDs) in a very bonkers way on the Oprah Winfrey show. He’s so excited about the relationship that he could only show his feelings properly by jumping on the sofa and punching the ground, like people do on commercials when they’ve been given a [...]

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Big Brother Countdown – 77 Hours To Go

by Stuart Heritage

***Big Brother Odds Coming Soon*** There’s only 77 hours to go until the new series of Big Brother starts, and hecklerspray is continuing its countdown, like a man standing outside a locked toilet, counting down until he wees all over the inside of his new suit. Yesterday we revealed that there’s going to be beer [...]

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TV’s Fearne Cotton Is Officially A Freak

by C J Davies

Aaah. Fearne Cotton. hecklerspray has to admit for once having a soft spot for the lovely young Top-Of-The-Pops-presenting madam, utterly enraptured by her smiley beamy face and big Bambi-on-Ecstasy eyes and such. Lovely pretty cute little Fearne, we thought… Until we read about what an absolute nutter she is. Aaah. Fearne Cotton. hecklerspray has to [...]

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