Article Archive for May 2005
Sylvester Stallone is going to star in Rambo 4.
hecklerspray can't help sensing that the next big movie trend is going to be really old actors doing rubbish sequels of action films that made them famous 20 years ago. Earlier today, we reported that Indiana Jones 4 has almost been greenlighted, and there have been murmurs about Bruce Willis (DVDs) and Justin Timberlake (CDs) teaming up in a new Die Hard film.
Now we are going to be subjected to the sight of rickety old Stallone (DVDs) creaking round a jungle with a pair of support stocking tied around his head.
HBO, home of Sex And The City (DVDs) and The Sopranos (DVDs), has bought the rights to the most shocking of all British television shows, Postman Pat.
No, not a new live-action version of Postman Pat starring Vin Diesel as a drunken, violent, misogynist Postman Pat with Tourettes syndrome. The real Postman Pat. They're showing the animated programme you watched when
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Whoever said the Brits are a nation of moaners has definitely got our number. Always one for a whinge (though inevitably out of earshot of the intended victim), us islanders would grumble if we won a million quid on the lottery - ‘Collect the money myself? Are you mad?!’
It comes then as no surprise that the Midsomer Murders style inhabitants of London’s Highgate suburb are having a good old moan about the Hollywood film crew that’s just taken up residence on the front lawn.Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction sees the unwanted return of Sharon Stone (DVDs) as fuzz box flashing (so 90’s, darling) enchantress Catherine Tramell. She’s upped and relocated to the UK for more sticky shenanigans, thus taking the entire sequel’s production crew with her.
"This has caused mayhem.†raged Highgate shopkeeper Robert Sinfield.
Paris Hilton (Books) has got engaged to her Greek shipping millionaire boyfriend Paris Latsis.
According to reports, the pair announced their plans to marry at a private barbeque for friends at Hilton's Beverly Hills mansion, and then they all danced to Gwen Stephani records. Lovely.
Paris Hilton, famous for having sex all over the internet, said of her fiance, "I feel like
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Rumours are circling like special gossip-vultures that - assuming he makes it out of this little matter of a criminal trial intact - plastic-faced music man Michael Jackson (CDs) is all set to become a star attraction in sleazy old Las Vegas.
According to a report on U.S show Celebrity Justice (great title), Jackson has been in several talks with
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Well, technically speaking, that is. After what seems like an eternity, and more slithery rumours than you can shake an bullwhip at, it appears that - finally - Indiana Jones 4 is going to be made.
According to Variety, screenwriter Jeff Nathanson’s draft for the World Most Famous Archaeologist™ has been approved by both creator George Lucas (DVDs) and his partner-in-crime Steven Spielberg (DVDs). Nathanson, who is also working on Rush Hour 3, was brought onboard by Spielberg himself, who was highly impressed with his efforts on flicks such as Catch Me If You Can and The Terminal.
Bob Geldof will today unveil the line-up for the Live 8 concerts to be held in Hyde Park on July 2. Twenty years after his Live Aid concerts (DVDs) raised awareness of African famine and dirty Irish men swearing, and despite promises that there would never be another concert, Geldof has changed his mind.
It's been reported that the Spice Girls will not be reforming for the concert, despite earlier rumours. This is either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on if you enjoy watching five old hasbeens caterwauling in unsuitable clothes or not.
We’d like to think that Justin Timberlake (CDs) took a break from dancing around like a fidgety man who needs the toilet to let out a big “Aw, mom!†when he heard about this wheezer.
Only marginally less embarrassing than your mum marching down the school to have a word about ‘that nasty girl’ who always steals your lunch money, Timbers’ mother is going to write a book about his life instead.Lynn Harless (what, you thought her surname would be Timberlake?) has got proper upset over the mean things said about her son and has decided to get his public image sorted once and for all.
"It will set the record straight. It hurts to read so many lies about him." Lynn commented.
