From the monthly archives:

March 2005

Teen Star Lindsay Lohan To Unleash ‘Divorce T.V’

by C J Davies

Teen star Lindsay Lohan (her of cack-awful remake Freaky Friday and ok-in-a-quietly-disturbing-sort-of-way Mean Girls) has announced plans to take part in a reality TV show which would chart the ongoing progess of her parent’s divorce. Teen star Lindsay Lohan (her of cack-awful remake Freaky Friday and ok-in-a-quietly-disturbing-sort-of-way Mean Girls) has announced plans to take part [...]

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Kylie To Leave Us All Alone

by C J Davies

Tedious-yet-bizarrely-lauded ‘pop pixie’ Kylie Minogue has told the world where to shove it and announced her plans to move to a remote isolated island. Apparently, French Island, positioned a good distance off the coast of Melbourne, has ‘no power, sewers or sealed roads, and only 90 other residents for Kylie to share with.’ Anyone who’s [...]

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Queen in Eric ‘Who-The-Hell-Are-You’ Clapton Shocker; Liz 1 none the wiser

by Chris Laverty

Attending a reception at Buckingham Palace, astonishingly overrated guitarists Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page were surprised to discover the Queen had no idea who they were.  Lucky lady. Attending a reception at Buckingham Palace, astonishingly overrated guitarists Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page were surprised to discover the Queen had no idea [...]

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Rap Stars in Radio Stations

by 586 MEDIA

Artist 50 Cent from the multi-sponsored rap label G-Unit has landed himself in the midst of a dangerous situation this week. A member of his never-ending entourage had opened fire at the WQHT radio station in Manhattan, reportedly injuring one man. 50 Cent was doing an on air interview at the time, promoting his new [...]

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Hide & Seek – Rubbish De Niro in ANOTHER shrink movie

by 586 MEDIA

Now for some Unoriginal Trash designed to get the kids in on a Saturday night. Prepare for the worst, reader: there’s no talking Italian going on in this banal shocker featuring Robert De Niro… Now for some Unoriginal Trash designed to get the kids in on a Saturday night. Prepare for the worst, reader: there’s [...]

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NMEwatch: They’re Doing Clothes Store Promotions Now

by C J Davies

hecklerspray incorrectly assumed that the rapidly-declining NME had reached its nadir upon devoting an entire feature to a ‘special‘ new haircut (the Bloc Head, in case anyone’s interested). We own up: we got it wrong. Because today, the situation worsened. hecklerspray incorrectly assumed that the rapidly-declining NME had reached its nadir upon devoting an entire [...]

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DVD Dirge: Alien vs Predator, Layer Cake, De-Lovely

by C J Davies

‘Home Entertainment’. You know, in your Grandad’s day, this probably meant whittling down some scrap iron while Vera Lynn shat her lungs out on the ‘wireless’. My, how we’ve changed. How we’ve come on in leaps and bounds. How Grandpa would have wept with gratitude for this fine selection of brand new DVDs … ‘Home [...]

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SLACKERJACK: Music Quiz in Excel – Guess The Artist (play at work, do it now)

by 586 MEDIA

Excellent fun for any bored call centre operatives or suchlike, this link will take you a mind-crushing 270 question music quiz. Simply look at the images, identify and write the name of the artist in the appropriate boxes (spelling is crucial). At the time of writing hecklerspray has a score of 141/134, with a few [...]

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M83 Get Their Touring Boots On

by C J Davies

M83… They’re something of a hecklerspray office favourite. Their unique French brand of mind-warping electronica (or ‘Gallictronica’, as some idiot Nathan Barley figure at the likes of Dazed And Confused might like to call it) puts most high-profile British bands to shame right now. Which is why even a cynical bunch of misanthropes like ourselves [...]

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Hacking And Hurling With Fred Durst and Paris Hilton

by Stuart Heritage

Around 20 years ago people were terrified of the potential of computers. Movies such as Tron gave the general population the impression that you could actually get sucked into a computer and be made to fight weird sort of motorbike things… Around 20 years ago people were terrified of the potential of computers. Movies such [...]

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