West Coast lyricist Snoop Dogg aka 'Calvin Broadus', has this week confirmed that he will perform at the Roskilde Festival in Denmark this summer...

Joey... man does it suck. Let's take a lesson in theological history to put this into perspective.

The world's first recorded crap spinoff came after The Old Testament, when God thought He was onto a bit of a winner with all the Adam and Eve stuff, and wanted to continue with it.

However, Eve wasn't happy with the setup, complaining about the higher billing that Adam got, so she left. God decided that the next sidekick for Adam would be a wisecracking cartoon detective giraffe named DJ Bangbang.

Adam and DJ Bangbang weren't really as popular as Adam and Eve, and so they were quietly retired and replaced with Jesus. And so, Friends became Joey.

Swedish born football coach Sven Goran Eriksson, best known for his role as England manager, has become a walking legend in his home country.

The man, who is responsible for the recent stability of the three lions, has loosely become the subject for a stage play that is opening next month in his home country of Sweden...

In Hollywood, there is a wicked rumour that there are no new ideas. Even a rudimentary poke around your memory will bring up a bunch of remade foriegn films, like The Ring, The Grudge and Shall We Dance.

Also Ray, Across The Sea, Finding Everland, Alexander, The Aviator, all life stories of real people. And then there are all the adaptations. Everything has been adapted. TV shows, books, even many local telephone directories have been given a big-budget adaptation.

What we need is a visionary, someone to take our hand and transport us to a new and exciting time. Where is this sacred being? Where, pray, this human of such monumental intellect with vast, original new ideas? Step forward Kirstie Alley, star of 2am ITV s(h)itcom Veronica's Closet...

Teen star Lindsay Lohan (her of cack-awful remake Freaky Friday and ok-in-a-quietly-disturbing-sort-of-way Mean Girls) has announced plans to take part in a reality TV show which would chart the ongoing progess of her parent's divorce.

Tedious-yet-bizarrely-lauded 'pop pixie' Kylie Minogue has told the world where to shove it and announced her plans to move to a remote isolated island.

Apparently, French Island, positioned a good distance off the coast of Melbourne, has 'no power, sewers or sealed roads, and only 90 other residents for Kylie to share with.' Anyone who's ever been to Grimsby should know what to expect.

Attending a reception at Buckingham Palace, astonishingly overrated guitarists Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page were surprised to discover the Queen had no idea who they were.  Lucky lady.

Artist 50 Cent from the multi-sponsored rap label G-Unit has landed himself in the midst of a dangerous situation this week.

A member of his never-ending entourage had opened fire at the WQHT radio station in Manhattan, reportedly injuring one man. 50 Cent was doing an on air interview at the time, promoting his new album, The Massacre.