Okay, okay, so that headline was a dirty trick - a sneaky little attention-grabber to draw you in. hecklerspray just thought that it was such a beautiful image, maybe the world would be a better place if it was briefly thrown out there ...

What has actually happened is that over-rated bilgemeister M. Night Shyamalan - he who directed cinematic non-events such as Unbreakable, The Village and the truly abysmal Signs - has quit his movie-making deal with Disney after the intervention of that time-honoured standby clause: 'creative differences'.

Honking sack of nothing Russell Crowe likes to follow his own path in life. Sadly, that is the path marked "Pissing Off Every Single Person You've Ever Met Avenue".

A quick rundown on his background shows fights with award ceremony producers, fights in bars, fights with minders and - hecklerspray's favourite - a fight in a restaurant in 2002 that was so ferocious it took Grant Mitchell to break it up.

Basically, he'd fight a hatstand if it looked at him funny.

But lately, it seems that he's become aware that this foolishness is putting a big dent in his karma. That's why he's trying to turn his life around, by doing only good things to help the good people of Earth.

And nothing will help us more than the reported news this week that his dreadful band are splitting up.

A quick quiz. Name three movie sequels that were better than the original. Quickly. Now, we're guessing your answers included The Godfather: Part II , Aliens and The Empire Strikes Back. Right? Because they are the only good sequels ever. Sequels are rubbish. Hecklerspray would like to knife it's eyes out rather than watch another cakky sequel. Honestly.

Hecklerspray couldn’t believe it… Forget the saucy lingerie ads in the colour supplements, the new M&S Food TV adverts are bringing the porn back to that starchiest of high street retailers.

And here's a surprise: it's received complaints from UK anti-gun charities. They accuse Reebok of glorifying gun crime. For the unaware, let us pop an information cap in yo' ass...

Sometimes the only reason to mention something is that annoys the crap out of you. Case in point: the Diet Coke tortoise advert.

Coca-Cola has been responsible for some real whiffy-ones as far as advertising on TV is concerned. From the ‘hands of love’ guff across the prairie fields in the seventies, to their 'Just for Taste of it' bile in the eighties, right up to this current slab of commercial hell-on-earth...

Hard-working singer songwriter Kylie Minogue is due to board an airplane this weekend to kick off her Greatest Hits tour.

Lady rapper Lil’ Kim and her assistant Monique Dopwel, have both been convicted of perjury and conspiracy; for lying about an incident outside Hot ’97, which erupted in gun fire between The Junior Mafia crew and Capone-N-Noreaga back in 2001.