Ang Lee, drippy arthouse director turned Hollywood pincushion has announced his intention to make a gay cowboy movie...

Hurrah, for the future of British music!

The Brits are back to stun our senses, confound expectations and prove incontrovertibly that experimentation, creativity and risk are still alive and well among our proud pop standard bearers…

Oh, sorry hecklerspray must have been briefly transported to a strange parallel universe by downing one too many extra strength Lemsips.

No, in the real world welcome

God bless you, Daily Star. Just when the world thought it could breathe a little easier ... just when the situation in the Middle East looked like it might be making some peaceful progress ... another devastating conflict has arisen. Dear Christ.

Apparently, whilst being interviewed about her upcoming wedding to turd-with-pecs Peter Andre, Jordan coldn't help but let her simmering

Dear Dennis,

I think I'm falling apart. I'm so desperately lonely and tired. My love life is a mess - no woman will even look at me. My career is a joke and I feel like a failure. Every night I pray my torment will end. I'm so unhappy. Can you please help? Please?

John, Northampton

Dennis replies:

I've always said that in the land

It’s the first Chris Morris TV project since the infamous – and ingenious – Brass Eye Special of 2001. Yet even hardcore devotees of the controversial media terrorist are raising their oh-so-sceptical eyebrows at latest offering Nathan Barley.

Has his reign as the darling of UK counter-culture finally come to a sputtering, Office-lite anti-climax as the naysayers are claiming? Check

Shocking bit of cultural lagging, this. Having soared through the suicide of guitarist Jimmi Lawrence to create orchestral rock masterpiece The Lost Riots,Chichester’s finest Hope Of The States have failed to gather a single – that’s right, a single – nomination for the upcoming NME awards. This from a publication that called the album ‘expansive, cinematic and full of majesty.’

So

This year’s Oscar ceremony might actually be free of stupidly-long acceptance speeches if event producer Gil Cates has his way. 

What sounds like a combination of The Human League, M83, The Magnetic Fields, Orange Juice and Kevin Shields, mixed by Daft Punk and with overdubs by Interpol and, erm, produced by the artistprobablyknownas Prince?

Cut Copy does, that's what...