From the monthly archives:

February 2005

Jordan Continues To Exist

by C J Davies

God bless you, Daily Star. Just when the world thought it could breathe a little easier … just when the situation in the Middle East looked like it might be making some peaceful progress … another devastating conflict has arisen. Dear Christ. Apparently, whilst being interviewed about her upcoming wedding to turd-with-pecs Peter Andre, Jordan [...]

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Life Is Just Too Much

by C J Davies

Dear Dennis, I think I’m falling apart. I’m so desperately lonely and tired. My love life is a mess – no woman will even look at me. My career is a joke and I feel like a failure. Every night I pray my torment will end. I’m so unhappy. Can you please help? Please? John, [...]

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Barley Worth The Effort?

by C J Davies

It’s the first Chris Morris TV project since the infamous – and ingenious – Brass Eye Special of 2001. Yet even hardcore devotees of the controversial media terrorist are raising their oh-so-sceptical eyebrows at latest offering Nathan Barley. Has his reign as the darling of UK counter-culture finally come to a sputtering, Office-lite anti-climax as [...]

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No Hope For The States

by C J Davies

Shocking bit of cultural lagging, this. Having soared through the suicide of guitarist Jimmi Lawrence to create orchestral rock masterpiece The Lost Riots,Chichester’s finest Hope Of The States have failed to gather a single – that’s right, a single – nomination for the upcoming NME awards. This from a publication that called the album ‘expansive, [...]

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Oscar the Grouch – awards ceremony to ditch SPEECHES?

by Chris Laverty

This year’s Oscar ceremony might actually be free of stupidly-long acceptance speeches if event producer Gil Cates has his way.  This year’s Oscar ceremony might actually be free of stupidly-long acceptance speeches if event producer Gil Cates has his way. 

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Cut Copy = new wave / shoegazer hybrid with beats, baby

by 586 MEDIA

What sounds like a combination of The Human League, M83, The Magnetic Fields, Orange Juice and Kevin Shields, mixed by Daft Punk and with overdubs by Interpol and, erm, produced by the artistprobablyknownas Prince? Cut Copy does, that’s what… What sounds like a combination of The Human League, M83, The Magnetic Fields, Orange Juice and [...]

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LUCAS REFUSES TO GIVE AWAY SITH PLOT JUST WEEKS BEFORE RELEASE

by 586 MEDIA

George Lucas has stunned fans by refusing to give away the entire plot of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Sith, the final chapter in Lucas’ space and hairstyles sextuplet will open worldwide on 19 May. But despite much speculation from hardcore fan websites Lucas is giving nothing away. "I’m not giving anything away" an [...]

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knockoff*project presents classic album covers, stolen and butchered

by 586 MEDIA

If you are a long-term music/vinyl afficionado you need to stop what you are doing and immediately visit knockoff*project, which has painstakingly collated hundreds of original album covers alongside hundreds of rip-offs. It is widely known, for example, that the Clash borrowed a fron cover from Elvis, but so too did Tiny Tim, Hasil Adkins [...]

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REM’s Micheal Stipe a nut for bisexual gingers

by 586 MEDIA

REM’s Micheal Stipe has shocked an unshockable world with revelations that he had a ‘bisexual awakening’ on an Easter Sunday, aged 13, in a bath, with two gingers. We’re not making this up… REM’s Micheal Stipe has shocked an unshockable world with revelations that he had a ‘bisexual awakening’ on an Easter Sunday, aged 13, [...]

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PERIOD DRAMA ALERT: BBC spends £8m on ‘Bleak House’; Johnny Vegas to appear

by 586 MEDIA

Matthew Kelly, the veteran Stars In Their Eyes presenter, will head up a new BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House, funded by licence payers to the tune of £8,000,000… Matthew Kelly, the veteran Stars In Their Eyes presenter, will head up a new BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House, funded by licence payers [...]

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