From the monthly archives:

February 2005

BITCHFEST ALERT: Britney Attempts To Savages Paris’ Dog With Lame Slur

by 586 MEDIA

Uh oh, BITCHFEST ALERT. Shitney Queers seems to think that her dog is better than the one owned by Paris Hilton. As far as hecklerspray is concerned, a dog needs to be able to retain at least some dignity for it to be a dog, much less run after cats and fetch sticks. No decent, [...]

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The case for the defence? Um, Uri Gellar?

by Stuart Heritage

Hollow-faced loon Michael Jackson is by far the best value entertainer in the entire universe. It’s been decades since anyone has been able to legitimately tell Michael Jackson jokes. Why? Well, try and comically exaggerate anything about him that he hasn’t been able to better himself in real life. Go on, try it… Hollow-faced loon [...]

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Dead Good Music – Ray Charles Bags THREE Grammys

by Chris Laverty

To deny the genius of the late, great Ray Charles would be just argument for the sake of argument. Nevertheless, giving the guy three Grammys for being dead is just pointless… To deny the genius of the late, great Ray Charles would be just argument for the sake of argument. Nevertheless, giving the guy three [...]

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Vomit Along For Valentines

by C J Davies

Ah. It’s the most wonderful time of the year again. The time when arse-brained hormone-slaves dredge out their unwarranted sentiment and spew it across the media like a big heart-shaped pus discharge. Example: Channel Four’s 100 Greatest Tearjerkers. A Christ-numbingly bad compilation which just goes to show that the British Viewing Public has all the [...]

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Bono to play Bond?

by Stuart Heritage

So the next James Bond movie has been confirmed as a remake of Casino Royale. This is possibly a good thing, as the original book doesn’t contain anything thats been rubbish about the last few films, like giant space laserguns or invisible cars or 10 metre-tall robot monkey warriors. Actually, forget the last one, that’s [...]

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SAY WHAT? – Crazy quotes from the world of celeb

by 586 MEDIA

"Can I have a coffee, black with two sugars" Whatever you say, Rupert Everett!! MORE CRAZY QUOTES… "Can I have a coffee, black with two sugars" Whatever you say, Rupert Everett!! MORE CRAZY QUOTES…

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Pirates 2 for tea?

by Chris Laverty

Word from BBC hacks is the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean will involve cannibalism, portraying the Dominica Caribbean Indians as historical people-gobblers. Word from BBC hacks is the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean will involve cannibalism, portraying the Dominica Caribbean Indians as historical people-gobblers.

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SPOTTED! with ALAN ALDA

by 586 MEDIA

hecklerspray’s favourite celebs not seen, not doing stuff, not hosted by Hawkeye… hecklerspray’s favourite celebs not seen, not doing stuff, not hosted by Hawkeye…

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Simon Says “Step up Security”

by 586 MEDIA

Simon Cowell the pop perpetrator behind horrible acts like Gareth Gates and Will Young is in fear of being assassinated. Surprisingly enough it is not due to the music but as a result of his participation in American Idol… Simon Cowell the pop perpetrator behind horrible acts like Gareth Gates and Will Young is in [...]

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U2 Continue To Sell Records

by Chris Laverty

Against all the odds U2 have scored a Number One hit with their latest slice of middle-age snooze rock ‘Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own’. Against all the odds U2 have scored a Number One hit with their latest slice of middle-age snooze rock ‘Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own’.

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