Danny DeVito To Show The View What He Looks Like Sober

When Rosie O'Donnell left The View earlier this year, she left a giant void - a void that could only be filled by a drunk bald midget belching vomit up into his mouth in front of an appalled studio audience.

Luckily Danny DeVito fits that description perfectly. Next week the new series of The View starts with Whoopi Goldberg acting as Rosie O'Donnell's replacement. But if the prospect of seeing the slightly nunnish alien bartender from the 1990s remake of Star Trek trying not to punch Elisabeth Hasselbeck in the nose for spouting her relentless torrent of ill-informed nonsense isn't going to tempt you to tune in, maybe the prospect of seeing Danny DeVito on The View for the first time since he turned up drunk will - although to top his last appearance Danny DeVito might well have to projectile vomit a red-hot jet of pure alcohol into Barbara Walters's screaming face. Which, you know, we'd be cool with. 

Danny DeVito lurching drunk around The View seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it? For most TV shows, a squat man promoting his rubbishy Christmas movie by turning up still drunk from the night before, doing Three Stooges impressions to describe the president, gruesomely describing having sex with his wife in the White House and then hiccuping vomit into his mouth would be seen as an all-time high, but not The View.

Since Danny DeVito appeared on The View shitfaced on limoncello, so much else has happened. There were petty squabbles with Donald Trump that literally went on forever, there were ear-shattering splitscreen screechfests and there was Rosie O'Donnell's instant resignation and subsequent failure to present The Price Is Right. But the departure of an angry paranoid lesbian can't stop The View doing what it does best - showing the world that even rich women can harp on like a bunch of annoying old tossers if you put them together for long enough - and that's why The View is back for a new season next week.

And while some things have changed - Whoopi Goldberg is the new Rosie O'Donnell - The View is making sure that all your old favourites are still in place, like drunk Danny DeVito, as ABC reports:

"The View" is coming back with a bang, boasting not only a new co-host but also a buzz-worthy guest. A spokesperson for the ABC daytime talk show confirmed today that Danny DeVito will be on the show for its Sept. 4 season 11 premiere. That's also the day comedian Whoopi Goldberg begins her reign as the show's moderator, joining fellow co-hosts Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. DeVito's last appearance on "The View" caused controversy when he appeared to be inebriated and admitted he had been swilling limoncellos with George Clooney the previous night.

Of course, going on The View drunk was one of the best things Danny DeVito could ever have done. For starters it proved that he was pals with George Clooney while demonstrating what a fun drunk he is, but also the incident allowed Danny DeVito to market his own brand of limoncello. So it might be wise for Danny DeVito to use this new appearance on The View to behave abominably on something more expensive so he can start marketing that, too. Plus it'd be nice to see Elisabeth Hasselbeck's face when Danny DeVito crashes through the set wall in a golden sports car wearing a crown, his breath reeking of 1978 Le Montrachet.

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DeVito Joins Ladies On The View Premiere - ABC