It's OK, everyone relax – Daniel Craig is actually going to be one of the best James Bond actors ever. This must be true because someone who's been paid to be his co-star in Casino Royale has said so.
Caterina Murino, who'll play the woman who James Bond has it off with for a bit in Casino Royale, has called Daniel Craig "a great actor," "sexy" and "a stupid blond scouser who looks about as threatening as a damp flannel who'll be slightly less convincing as James Bond than Pocoyo would be." One of those is a lie, and we're not going to tell you which.
There's only four months to go until Casino Royale is finally released onto an exhausted and uncaring public, and that means the Casino Royale hype is going to start steadily building and building until you're even more sick of Daniel Craig and James Bond and Casino Royale than you already are, if that's possible. We already know that Goldfrapp probably won't be doing the Casino Royale theme-tune, which is good news for anyone hoping not to instantly fall asleep as soon as the film starts.
We also know that James Bond producers are so impressed with how Casino Royale is turning out that they're already cobbling together a sequel. However, rumours still persist that Daniel Craig is nothing more than a gun-hating nancy boy who spends all his relaxation time letting midgets punch his teeth out. Now's the time for those rumours to end, though, because Daniel Craig has been on the receiving end of some high praise. OK, so it's praise from a woman who's been paid to star in Casino Royale, and who is so unknown that she must be banking on Casino Royale becoming a hit to secure any kind of future career for herself, but you take what you can get, right? Caterina Murino, who'll play James Bond's lover in Casino Royale says:
"You never saw a James Bond like this. Casino Royale is the first book Ian Fleming wrote and it means we see how James Bond became James Bond. Daniel is giving to this James Bond something else we never saw before. When he's going to kill someone, he looks like a real killer. When he kisses me, when he makes love, he's so sexy. This James Bond doesn't look like a little cartoon character like before, like the last one or so charming and playful like the first James Bond. This is new."
Obviously, this praise would be more convincing if it came from someone who wasn't on the Casino Royale payroll, but it's more or less set us straight. We're looking forward to seeing a more human, fallible, angry, gritty James Bond in Casino Royale, and we're sure to be first in line at the cinema come November.
What's that? Ubiquitous beardy self-promoting millionaire git Richard Branson has just filmed one of his toe-curling "don't look at me, I just run the airline" cameos for Casino Royale, just like he has for Friends and Only Fools And Horses and Birds Of A Feather and Around The World In 80 Days and Superman Returns? OK, scrap that last bit about Casino Royale being any good.
[story by Stuart Heritage]